Never Gone
by SpencerMcLean
Summary: Post-Chosen, but semi-ignoring Angel season 5. Buffy, now living in England, is a mess. What happens when Spike is brought back by the Powers That Be? Rated M, just in case!
1. Chapter 1

The new house was quiet at night. Buffy had moved to London, much to her dismay, and agreed to live with Giles. As strained as their relationship had become in the past 41 days, she knew it would be best for Dawn. Since the potentials were scattered all over now, she no longer felt the need to patrol at night. She saved that for the nights where her pain would overcome her, which, quite honestly was most nights. She no longer felt the rush slaying used to provide for her, now it was just an outlet to relived the anger and hurt built up inside her.

She missed him. It was obvious to everyone, and they all tried to comfort her. But, it was always a waste of their time. She had lost 20 pounds in the 41 days since Sunnydale had been destroyed. She forced herself to eat when in the presence of Dawn, but otherwise skipped all meals. Her eyes had heavy bags underneath them, and she had a blank, glossy stare.

She had spent almost every night lying in her new bed, curled up with his black t-shirt. She had found it on the bus after the final battle, and snatched it before anyone could use it as a bandage. His scent was fading fast from the clothing, but she still clung to it for dear life at night. It was all she had of him. She had asked Willow to help with a resurrection spell, but realized that she couldn't put him through what her friends had put her through when they had brought her back.

Buffy knew how bad she looked, but she felt as if her soul had died along with Spike. The only thing she cared about was that Dawn was taken care of. As much as she hated Giles for what he had conspired to do with Robin Wood, she knew he would take care of Dawn as if he were her father. She spent her days lounging around the house in her sweats and watching Passions reruns on one of the channels that played American soaps. As sad as she was, watching Passions would always make her smile, even if the smile was faint and only for a moment.

Willow and Xander lived in the house along with Buffy, Dawn, and Giles. The house was twice the size of Buffy's house in Sunnydale, and they thought it would be best if they were all together for the first few months until everything had gotten back to normal; or at least somewhat normal. She hated the fact that everyone stared at her when she would come down from her room. She knew what they were thinking. Dawn was the only one who supported and accepted Buffy's feelings. The rest felt that she needed to get over him and move on with her life… And she somewhat resented them for that.

Living in London made it hard for Buffy to leave the house. She turned every single time she heard a man say the words 'love' or 'pet.' She turned every single time she saw a man with bleached blonde hair. She turned every single time she saw a man in a black duster. She always knew they weren't him, but she couldn't help but feel the absolute slightest bit of hope, followed by an enormous amount of pain when each man turned out to be just a stranger.

She had called Angel the day before and gotten the information she wanted. It took a while to get it out of him, but finally he caved. He knew how much she was hurting, and didn't want to make things worse by denying her wish. So here she was, standing in front of a beautiful two-story home that almost looked abandoned. Angel had given her the address, along with what directions he could remember. He had told her that no one had lived in the house since the mysterious disappearance of Anne Pratt and her son William. The house, however, was now owned by living relatives. Angel informed Buffy that the last he heard was that one family member was living in the home, but had kept everything in Anne's room and William's room exactly how they were. Buffy had decided to pose as a distant relative, interested in her ancestors, in hopes of finding anything she could of his. She just wanted something of his that had meaning. Standing in front of the house, Buffy let out a deep sigh and proceeded to the front door.


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy knocked on the door and waited for the owner to answer. After a few seconds, she began to doubt herself, and started to leave. As she started to turn, she heard the door open and came face to face with a woman who looked to be at least 80.

"May I help you, miss?"

Stunned, Buffy stared at the woman in front of her, not knowing what to say.

The older woman showed concern for the stranger on her doorstep, "Miss, are you alright?" She asked, holding out her hand to Buffy.

Finally, finding her voice Buffy answered, "I-I'm fine, thanks. This may sound a little strange, but my name is Anne Summers, I'm from California. I've been tracing my roots lately, and it's led me here. According to my research this house originally belonged to one of my ancestors."

Buffy felt guilty for lying to this sweet woman, but she couldn't turn back now. She longed to see his former bedroom.

The old woman's eye lit up at this, and invited Buffy in with no hesitation. Buffy couldn't help but think how foolish it was for someone to invite a complete stranger into their home, no matter what their story may be. As she crossed into the foyer of the home, the lady introduced herself.

"It's nice to meet you, Anne. My name is Margaret. I'm sure you came because the house belongs to one of your relatives. However, I just rent the downstairs, so I won't be of any help to you."

Margaret, sitting down slowly, made eye contact with Buffy. Noticing Buffy's fallen face, she continued. "But, if you would like, you can go upstairs and look through the family photos, if that would help your research."

Buffy's face lit up, as she thanked Margaret and ascended the staircase slowly. At the top of the stairs, she saw 4 doors. Something drew her to the second one on the left. As she opened the bedroom door, she noticed how simple the room was. Hard wood floors, a wooden full-size bed, a simple desk covered in random items, and a wooden chest. She knew in her heart this was his room. Before looking through the things in the room, she sat on the bed, putting her hand on the pillow.

Buffy felt a tear run down her left cheek as she touched the pillow he rested his head on as an innocent human all those years ago. Shaking away her thoughts, she walked over to the chest to see what kind of trinkets she could find. Upon opening the top of the chest, she was dumbfounded when she saw that on top were 2 leather bound books that resembled journals. She pulled them out, carefully opened each one, and saw his handwriting on the pages. They were his poems. Without thinking twice, she put them in her bag, and continued looking through the chest. At the bottom, she found a ring that sparkled in the sunlight streaming in through the window. It was a large sapphire stone in the middle with small diamonds around it with a silver band. Buffy thought the ring was breathtaking, so she put it on her ring finger, admiring the way it looked with her skin tone.

By the time Buffy had finished looking through the room, she had collected the two journals, the ring, and a few drawings that she assumed William had drawn. After collecting herself, she walked downstairs to thank Margaret for being so gracious.

"Thank you again, Margaret. I found a few pictures upstairs that helped quite a bit." Buffy told her, feeling somewhat guilty for what she was stealing.

"No problem, hun. Come back anytime." Margaret responded, showing her out and offering a hug.

When Buffy returned home, she noticed that no one was home and decided to sit on the floor in the living room and read his poetry. She set the books out on the coffee table in front of her and began to read his words. As she was reading, she recalled that he had told her how "bloody awful" his poetry was, but didn't agree. She thought they were beautiful; perhaps because she loved and missed him so deeply.

Buffy was so consumed by William's poetry that she hadn't heard the door open or close. She hadn't noticed anyone in the room until she noticed Giles' shoes out of the corned of her eye. She turned her head to acknowledge him, not realizing how puffy her face was from crying.

With a sigh, Giles sat on the couch a few inched from Buffy. "Buffy, I know our relationship is quite strained at the moment, however, I hope you realize that I wish there was something I could do for you, I truly do. It kills me to see you in this much pain."

With her tear stained face, Buffy nodded slightly while responding, "I know, Giles. It kills me that I feel I can't trust you. I hope in time I can learn to again."

Hearing that cut Giles deep, but he knew it was his own fault, and that he deserved much worse after trying to have Spike killed. But, he also picked up on the fact that Buffy had not said more than four words total to him since Sunnydale. So, he could tell she was starting to come around, and decided to attempt a conversation with his former slayer.

"What are you reading, Buffy?" Giles asked, smiling hopefully at the girl on the floor.

It took a few seconds and a few sniffles, but Buffy finally answered.

"I got the address from Angel. These are Spike's journals from when he was a human. I went to his house. It's owned by relatives, and the bedrooms have never been touched since he lived there. I found these…" Buffy handed one of the books to Giles, allowing him to read.

Giles took the journal from the fragile girl sitting in front of him. As he took the book, he noticed just how frail Buffy looked. The once strong woman he spent years training with was gone. And she had been replaced with a fractured girl that seemed to not have the strength to stand up by herself.

As Giles was reading the first page, he heard her softly speak again.

"I know I shouldn't have stolen them, but I had to have something of his, Giles." She paused for a moment before continuing. "I took this ring, too." She said, showing him her left hand where the ring still sat on her ring finger.

She expected Giles to be disappointed and lecture her, but instead, he took her hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"I know, Buffy. I'm sure he would want you to have these things." Giles said to her as he squeezed her hand.

"Giles?" Buffy asked, in the smallest voice he had ever heard from her.

"Yes, Buffy?" He responded, in the loving voice she had known years ago.

"I miss him. I don't know what to do anymore. It hurts." Buffy managed to get the full sentences out before the sobs overtook her as she crawled onto the couch, finding comfort in the arms of the man she once thought of as a father figure.


	3. Chapter 3

Thnaks for the reviews! This chapter is kinda sappy. Hopefully, not too over-dramatic with the tears. But, Buffy is really broken right now. She won't be so sad for long though...maybe ;)

Trusting Giles was one of the last things Buffy would be able to do for quite some time. However, she found that at the moment, she just needed someone to comfort her. Someone who would let her cry; someone who would gently rub her head and tell her everything was going to be okay. And while Giles was not at the top of her list, he was there. Knowing that he had deeply hurt Buffy in his decision to help Wood, Giles wanted nothing more than to make her feel better. So there he sat. On the couch he shared with his former slayer, her little sister, and two best friends. He felt like a father to all of them, and they, in return, thought of him as the same. None of them had ever been close to their own fathers, and felt that Rupert Giles was the closest any of them would get to one.

About 45 minutes into her sobs, Buffy had cried herself to sleep on Giles' lap. He carefully laid her on the couch, covering her with the blanket they kept on the back of the couch. Giles stood there, quietly, for quite some time, just watching her sleep. He noticed how tear stained, blotchy, and puffy her face was, and noted that it had become a normal look for her since Sunnydale. He also noticed a few new scars. Since he hadn't been this close to her in the past months and had never seen a few of them, and wondered if they were from the final battle.

Looking at how her left hand laid lazily on the couch in front of her, he saw what looked like burns in between each finger, and covering small parts of the top of her hand. He couldn't, for the life of him, figure out how her hand had been burned, or when. There was no fire involved with their fight with The First, and she had not had a battle since. Picking her hand up, as gently as he could without startling her, he inspected it. The first thing he notices was how the ring she recently acquired sparkled when the light hit it. He knew that as wrong as it was for Buffy to steal, she only did it because she missed him terribly. Lecturing her would have only made her feel worse, and that was the absolute last thing he wanted. As he turned her hand over, he saw that her palm was burnt as well. Dumbfounded by these scars, he checked her other hand and found nothing there. He made a mental note to ask her about the burns when the chance arose.

The following morning, Buffy was woken by the continuing ring of the doorbell. After rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she made her way to open the front door for her unexpected visitor. Finding Angel on the other side, shielding himself with a heavy blanket. At first seeing the blanket made her believe, for a split second, that it was Spike. Knowing it was Angel, confused her just as much. He was supposed to be in LA, running Wolfram and Hart.

"Angel… What are you doing here?" Buffy asked him, slowly, confused as to why he was in her home, so far from California.

Tossing the blanket over the banister, Angel replied in a caring voice, "When you called me yesterday morning, you sounded so small. I just couldn't not come check on you. I know you don't want me to baby you, but I can't help it, Buffy. No matter what we are to each other, no matter where we are in our lives, you well-being is most important to me."

Angel lovingly placed his cool hand on her cheek, wiping away a single tear that began to fall. Buffy smiled softly at him, being grateful that someone in her life cared for her that much. No matter what happened, she knew he would always be in her heart, just not the way in held out hope for.

"Thanks, Angel. I really appreciate it. I hate that you had to come all this way, though. You really didn't have to. I'm… I'm fine. Really." She lied, not looking him in the eye.

"Buffy, you don't have to lie to me. I know we haven't seen each other since a few days before your battle with The First, but I know you miss him." The last part of his sentence was hard for Angel to get out. No matter how much he loved her, he would never get past her being with the one person on Earth he wouldn't want her to.

Buffy led Angel into the living room and sat on the opposite end of the couch. She didn't want to be too close to him, afraid that he might make her start crying again.

"Angel," Buffy paused and turned her head to look at him, "I'm sorry for how things ended up between us. I never wanted to hurt you. And I know falling in love with Spike probably did."

Angel flinched when he heard the words, 'falling in love.' He knew that she had feelings for him, but never fully believed that she was in love with him. Buffy noticed his reaction, but continued to speak.

"I know you hate him. I know everyone did, except Dawn. But, no one knew him like I did. He was there for me, always." Buffy could feel the tears threatening to fall, but she kept on. "When my mom was sick, he comforted me every night. He protected Dawn with his life. He…" Buffy paused to control her feelings.

Angel took her hand across the couch, "Buffy, you don't have to talk about this. I'm not going to force you to."

"No," Buffy shook her head, "I need to. I need to get this out. S-Spike was there for me, without a soul. He loved me without a soul. He fought for his soul. For me. All he wanted was me to love him back."

It took Buffy a few seconds to realize what she had just said, and who she said it to.

"Oh, Angel… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

Angel shook his head, "No, Buffy. It's okay, I know how I was without a soul. He did love you without a soul, I only loved to torture you." Angel squeezed her hand, reassuring her that he didn't take offense to what she had told him.

"I just, I miss him. Every day, I think it will get a little better, but it doesn't, Angel. It just gets worse. I just miss him more. I've become a shell of my former self. I know how people look at me. They're all disappointed in the slayer because she was always so strong and now she spends her life mourning, crying over a guy. I always told Dawn that no man was ever worth your tears. Well I was wrong, Angel. Spike is worth my tears." Buffy gave in and allowed her tears to fall freely.

Angel wrapped his arms around her, gently patting her back as he did. She thought back to the night on the porch, when Spike had come to kill her, shotgun in hand; yet, couldn't do it the second he saw her tear. The way he gently patted her back, in a way that was both sweet and awkward for them both. This of course, only made her cry harder.

After a few minutes, Buffy finally composed herself and went upstairs to freshen up. She thought a hot shower would make her feel better. As she showered, Angel found his way to the kitchen, having never been to this house, he got lost twice. He opened the refrigerator, half expecting to find a packet of blood on hand in the event he dropped by, but found none. Instead, he took an apple juice and went back to the living room.

He found Dawn, sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, reading books that looked to be old. Sitting down next to her, he asked, "Whatcha reading, Dawnie?"

Dawn turned her head, "Oh, hey. I didn't know you were here. How are you?" Dawn hugged Angel and smiled at him when they parted.

"I came to make sure Buffy is okay. She called yesterday and sounded so broken. She wanted Spike's, or William's address. She went there looking for anything she could find of his."

"Well, this must be it. They're poems, and I'm almost certain this is his messy handwriting." Dawn inspected the pages and added, "His words are so proper and… just un-Spike like. Is this really how you guys talked back then?"

"Not me. I'm not English. But, Spike, yeah. He was the epitome of proper Englishman." Angel giggled as he recalled just how proper William was.

Dawn and Angel sat and read the journals in silence. Dawn could feel herself tear up a bit as she read. She missed him too. Spike was like her big brother, and even though she was irate with him after the bathroom incident with Buffy, she loved him all the same. He protected her with his life, and she wanted nothing more than the chance to thank him and tell him goodbye.

Buffy came back down after her shower. She felt much better, as she knew she would. She found Angel and Dawn sitting together reading like they were family. She thought it would be good for her to spend time with them, so she got herself a snack from the kitchen and headed back to the living room for some quality time with her sister, and one of her best friends. Giles, having just woken up, came downstairs at the moment Buffy sat down next to Dawn. He watched the scene in front of him for a few moments, happy that Buffy was socializing. Although he wondered why Angel was there, he knew seeing him would be good for her.


	4. Chapter 4

As the day went on, Buffy found herself enjoying the company she was in. Seeing Angel seemed to help her through the day. Dawn thought it would be a good idea for everyone to spend the day together, so she suggested a movie day. Later, as the day had become night, Buffy was sitting on the couch between Dawn and Angel, while Giles was asleep in the recliner, and Willow and Xander laid on the floor closest to the TV.

As the first movie ended, Buffy excused herself to get a drink from the kitchen. Noticing her going alone, Giles took the opportunity to follow her in hopes of her opening up to him about her burns. He saw her looking out the window above the sink, and could tell she was just staring into the dark space outside. Not wanting to startle her, he made sure his feet shuffled as he walked towards her.

"How are you doing today, Buffy?" Giles asked, smiling slightly when she turned to face him.

Shrugging her shoulders, she answered, "Okay. It's nice to see Angel."

Giles nodded, understanding that while she was glad to see Angel, he just couldn't make her happy. "Buffy… Yesterday, when you fell asleep on the couch, I laid you down the best I could without disturbing you."

Buffy sat down at the kitchen table, trying to figure out where he was going with this.

"Giles, what are you trying to say?" She asked, clearly confused.

"Well you see, I stood there for a few seconds watching you to make sure you were okay, and I noticed your left hand."

As Giles said the word 'hand,' Buffy became self-conscious and pulled her sleeve down, covering her hand.

"It's nothing, Giles. I'm fine." Her voice was soft, and her eyes avoided his.

"I just wanted to make sure you are okay. I had never seen those before, and since there was no fire in our battle… I was just curious. Are you sure you're okay, Buffy?" Giles pulled the chair next to her out, sitting down.

Buffy sat there in silence, not wanting to tell him what the burns were from, but at the same time knowing he wouldn't let it go easily.

"Buffy, I know you don't trust me, but I you can tell me what happened. Are they from patrol here in London?" He asked, curiously.

With a soft sob, Buffy stood up and quickly ran up the stairs, and into her bedroom. As she reached her room, she slowly crawled into her bed, and hugged her pillow tightly against her body. As she lay with her back against the headboard of her bed, she heard soft rapping at the door. Before she could acknowledge that someone was there, the door opened and she saw Xander on the other side. He and Buffy hadn't talked much since Sunnydale, and they hardly ever spent time one on one since.

Smiling at her, Xander spoke. "Hey, Buff. You okay? Giles said you ran up here suddenly." Xander sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for her response.

"I don't know if I should talk about it Xan." Buffy answered.

"Buff, it's me! You can tell me anything. You know I'll always be there for you." He offered her a goofy grin and took her hand in his. "Giles told me you left the room when he asked you where you got these burns. What happened?"

With a heavy sigh, Buffy decided to open up to him, hoping getting it off her chest would make her feel better. Maybe even help her move on.

Looking down at her hand, she began her story, "When we were in the Hellmouth, I was fighting a few of the vamps and didn't even notice he wasn't at my side anymore. When I turned around to find him, I saw him backed against a wall, with this," she paused for a second, using her hands as she spoke, "big light shining through him. I ran to him and could see the pain written on his face. The light pushed all of the vamps back away from us and back into the pit. Then he looked at me, and said, 'I can feel it, Buffy. My soul, it's really there, kinda stings.'" She stopped as a few tears fell, and looked at Xander sitting next to her, listening intently.

Continuing her story, she choked on a few words, "I told him to take the amulet off, that he had done enough. But, he told me no. He said he had to do it, that it was up to him to do the cleanup. When I argued, he put his hand up, telling me to stop. I looked him in the eye, and took his hand…" She gently rubbed her left hand with her right as she continued, "and flames erupted over our hands. It hurt, but not as much as realizing that he was sacrificing himself, and that he was dying. I told him I loved him."

Before she could get her last sentence out, the tears overtook her once again, and Xander wrapped his arms around her before speaking, "I know it hurts, Buff. But, at least you told him. At least he knew how you felt."

Sobbing, almost yelling, Buffy responded, "He didn't believe me! Why didn't he believe me, Xander?"

Not knowing what to say back, Xander just held her and let her cry. Rubbing her back, trying to comfort her best he could.

* * *

Downstairs, the rest were worried about Buffy, but optimistic that Xander was still upstairs with her. As they sat wondering when and if she would move on, the doorbell rang, followed by insistent knocking on the front door. The way the banging kept up, Giles, Dawn, Willow, and even Angel went to the door together, curious as to who it was and why they were so impatient. Dawn made it to the door first and looked out the window at the top of the door. Dawn screeched, jumped, and flailed her arms all at the same time as she opened the door quickly to reveal Spike on the other side. Not being able to control herself, she flew over the threshold, into his arms.

"I missed you too, Niblet." Spike said, smiling as he hugged her tight.


	5. Chapter 5

Spike stood on the porch, holding Dawn in his arms, tightly. He didn't feel that he could express how good it felt to see her again, he always thought of her as his little sister. Dawn pulled back, slowly, bringing her head up to see his face. Her eyes were glistening with tears of joy at seeing him. He cupped her cheek, wiping away a single tear drop that fell from her eye, and smiled softly at her.

"Spike, how? I don't understand." Dawn asked him, shaking her head in disbelief, and inviting him in, "Come inside."

Walking back inside, Dawn grabbed Spike's hand and led him into the living room.

"Well, Nibblet, the last week has been pretty interesting to say the least." Spike looked at Angel as he was speaking.

Willow and Dawn didn't notice the way Spike looked at Angel. Giles, however, did. He immediately jumped in, questioning why Angel had suddenly come for a visit. Finding that Spike arriving 12 hours later to be quite coincidental.

"Angel, why exactly did you decide to come visit Buffy now?" Giles asked, certain he already knew the answer.

Angel didn't answer Giles, he just stared at Spike, staying as quiet as possible. This gave Spike the opportunity to answer for him.

"Well you see, Watcher, my grandsire here thought a little trip to London to see a girl would be a good idea. You know, just sorta swoop in and make her remember why she loved him. Make her want him again. Isn't that right, Peaches?"

"Shut up, Spike. You have no idea what you're talking about." Angel retorted, hatefully.

"Oh, don't I?" Spike asked, "Seems to me that giving your secretary direct orders not to tell me where you went pretty much guarantees I'm right." Spike stood up, angrily and ready to kill. "You bloody well knew where she was all along! You lied to me! You said yesterday was the first time you had heard from her since the battle! That she didn't tell you where she was! You knew the whole time!"

At this point, Spike was yelling so loud, everyone downstairs was certain Buffy could hear him. Willow kept her eyes on the stairs as much as she could, so she would know when Buffy was on her way.

* * *

Upstairs, in Buffy's room, Xander held Buffy in a tight embrace, trying his best to provide her with all the comfort he could. He wasn't sure if telling him had made her feel better, or just made her feel even more guilty. He couldn't help but feel sorry for her. He had lost Anya the same day, yet he had moved on the best he could, it just wasn't coming as easy for Buffy.

Buffy jerked from her friend's grasp when she heard his voice. At first, she dismissed it, thinking her mind was playing tricks on her again. It wasn't until she heard it again, louder, and saw the look on Xander's face that she believed in it. Frozen, Buffy sat on her bed, staring at Xander, and not knowing what to do or what to think. Then, it got even louder, and she heard the anger in the British voice she missed so much. Without giving it a second thought, Buffy jumped up off the bed and ran.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she saw the back of him and froze. So many thoughts were running through her head, she couldn't think. Giles, Willow, and Dawn saw Buffy and focused their attention on her. Wondering how she would react to seeing him. Spike noticed the three looking behind him and knew exactly what they saw. Slowly turning around, Spike saw his slayer holding onto the banister. She looked much smaller than he remembered, as well as both scared and confused. As Spike walked towards her, she gripped the stair railing tighter as her body began to tremble and she couldn't hide the tears forming in her eyes. Buffy and Spike stood inches apart, staring at each other, for what seemed like ages to everyone watching. Xander had made it downstairs and joined the others in the living room, too dumbfounded by what he was seeing to make a joke.

Buffy made the first move. She slowly brought her hand up to his face, gently touching his cheek, and showing her surprise when her eyes widened, "You're real."

"Of course, pet." Spike responded, using the softest tone he could achieve.

He placed his hand over hers, still on his cheek, and waited for her reply.

"What happened? What brought you back?" Buffy asked, letting her tears get the best of her.

"Let's go in the other room with your mates, I'd prefer to only tell the story once. But, love, you may not like what I have to say."

"How could I not like a story that ends with you being here?" Buffy asked, smiling up at him as she grabbed his hand, they walked into the living room together.

Everyone took a seat where they could find one, eager to hear his story. Spike sat on the end of the couch, while Buffy, not ashamed, sat next to him, snuggling up to his body. She wanted to be as close to him as possible, afraid he would disappear or she would wake up and it all be a dream.

"Spike," Giles began, "may I ask what you and Angel were arguing about? Why you were yelling at him."

Upon hearing this, Buffy looked from Giles to Angel, and back to Spike before speaking. "What were you yelling about? What am I missing?"

Angel spoke up before anyone else could, "It's nothing, Buffy. Just a misunderstanding is all."

Spike, raising an eyebrow, questioned him. "Oh really? Nothing? I wouldn't call lying to Buffy and everyone else a misunderstanding."

Buffy looked at Spike and asked, "What are you talking about? How did he lie to me, Spike?"

Spike turned his head to look her in the eyes and noticed how frail she looked. It matched how tiny her voice was, and it broke his heart.

"Let me start from the beginning… Six days ago, somehow the amulet was sent to Wolfram & Hart, and I just appeared in his office. No one seems to know how it got there, but it did. I was confused and worried about you, so I tried to run. I had to make sure you and Bit were safe. But, when I tried to leave, I vanished."

Buffy took Spike's hand as he told his story. She was having a hard time grasping that he was really there, alive; seeing the show of affection between them made Angel roll his eyes.

"I'm not sure where I vanished to," Spike continued, "but it was dark and full of demons. I think it was Hell. I think Hell was trying to claim my soul."

Hearing this made Buffy snuggled up to him more, trying to be as close as possible and help him. He situated himself on the couch so that they could be holding each other, but not ignore the others and continued his story.

"Anyway, long story short, I was a ghost. And I wasn't able to leave Wolfram and Hart. All of these experts were trying to make me corporeal so I could be on my bloody way. So I could get to you." Looking at Buffy as he spoke made her heart melt. "Finally, 2 days ago, I was real again, able to leave. I had been asking Peaches for days where you lot were now. But, his answer was always the same. He didn't know because no one spoke and even if he did, it was best for us to leave you alone. Then, yesterday, I heard him on the phone with you, pet. I heard him say goodbye to you, so I asked one last time where you were. He told me that you hadn't told him where you were other than in Europe somewhere, and that it was the first time you had talked since before the battle with The First."

Buffy made eye contact with Angel, she was so angry she could feel her blood boil. But, wanting to hear the rest of the story, kept herself seated and quiet.

"So, yesterday afternoon, I realized that I haven't seen the poofter all day. I ask Harmony where he is, and she caves. Tells me that he gave her strict orders not to tell me that he went to London to see Buffy. So, here I am." Spike smiles, softly, as Buffy leans in, kissing him softly.

Breaking the kiss, Buffy stands, slowly walking towards Angel. He stands and begins to defend himself.

"Buffy, I was just doing what I thought was best. I didn't want him to show up here and hurt you more. You deserve better than him."

Buffy stood in front of Angel, not knowing what to say. She felt so betrayed and was full of anger towards him. Without thinking twice, she slapped him across the face as hard as she could.

"Get out." She stated, with no emotion behind her voice.


	6. Chapter 6

Everyone in the living room froze in their place, afraid to move or speak. Buffy stood, glaring at a stunned Angel.

Covering his cheek with his hand, he tried to smooth things over. "Buffy, I'm sorry."

"I don't know why you're talking to me when I told you to get out."

Angel looked at Buffy, then behind her to Spike who was standing up from the couch and making his way over to them. As Spike reached them, he placed his hand on Buffy's shoulder, offering his help.

"Want me to throw him out, pet? Be more than happy to." Spike smirked at Angel as he spoke.

"Shut up, Spike. Buffy isn't gonna throw me out. She's upset right now, but she'll forgive me."

"No." Buffy said.

Both Angel and Spike looked at her, not sure which she was saying 'no' to. Just as Spike opened his mouth, she continued.

"No, Angel. I won't forgive you. Not for this. You kept him from me for weeks."

Angel interrupted her, "Buffy-"

"No!" At this point, Buffy was yelling at him. "You knew how bad I was! You knew how much I've cried! You knew!"

Shaking her head in disbelief, Buffy whispered, "You knew."

Not being able to control her emotions, Buffy turned to walk away, but Angel grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Buffy, please don't walk away."

Pushing him off, Buffy exploded, "DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!"

Buffy started to walk upstairs, but stopped before taking the first step. Turning around, she walked back into the living room, taking Spike's hand and leading him upstairs with her. Halfway up the stairs, Buffy called out, "I meant it when I said get out."

Giles took it upon himself to make sure Angel was on his way.

"Angel, I believe it's time for you to be on your way back to Los Angeles."

As Giles was showing Angel out, Dawn, Willow, and Xander exchanged looks of disbelief at what had just happened.

"I don't even know what to say right now." Xander said, wondering how Spike had been alive and no one known.

"I just can't believe Angel knew and kept it from Buffy. I mean, who does that?" Willow asked.

Dawn quickly ran to catch up to Angel before he walked out the door. "Angel, wait! Don't leave yet!"

Angel turned around, happy someone understood why he did what he did. As he turned to face her, he felt the sting of the slap to his other cheek, and met the fiery expression of the mini Buffy.

"Okay, you can leave now." Dawn said, storming up the stairs.

* * *

Once in her bedroom, Buffy closed the door, and sat down on the edge of the bed, looking up at Spike standing against the wall, quietly. Neither of them knew where to start. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Buffy stood and slowly walked to him. Once she met him, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist, her tiny body pressed against his. Without hesitation, Spike wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head and finding comfort in her scent. This is what he missed the most, just holding her.

When Spike felt her body shake from her sobs, he held her tighter, rubbing her back gently.

"Shhh, love. It's okay." Pulling back from her, Spike brought her face up to look in her eyes. "Everything will be alright, pet."

"I just can't believe you're here." Buffy said in the midst of her tears, "I miss you."

Smiling, proudly, Spike answered, "I miss you, pet. But, we don't have to miss each other anymore."

Looking into his eyes, Buffy wiped away a few of her tears, speaking softly, "I meant it."

Upon hearing those words, Spike's face simultaneously showed confusion and sadness at the same time. He knew exactly what she was talking about. But, he also knew the only reason she told him was because he was dying, she just wanted to make him feel better.

Buffy could tell he still thought she was lying, "Spike, I meant what I said in the Hellmouth. Why didn't you believe me?"

"Look, pet, I-"

"No." Buffy interrupted him, placing her right hand on his left cheek, forcing him to listen. "I meant what I said to you that day. I still mean it."

His eyes widened, not believing what she was saying, thinking it was all too good to be true.

"I love you, William."


	7. Chapter 7

"I love you, William."

At first, he thought he had heard wrong. He was sure she had only told him she loved him to make him feel better for sacrificing himself to save her and the rest of the world. Spike stared into Buffy's eyes, not fully believing that what was happening was real. He tried to form words, but when he opened his mouth to speak, nothing would come out. Finally, he was able to barely whisper to her.

"Buffy…" He closed his eyes as he said her name, nuzzling his cheek against the palm of her hand.

They stayed silent for what seemed like an eternity to Buffy. She started to doubt that he still loved her.

_"Does he not love me anymore? Why isn't he telling me he loves me too?" _Buffy's thoughts were getting the best of her. She brought her hand down and looked away.

"You don't love me anymore. I should've known you wouldn't wait around for me. I treated you so bad." Buffy sat on the bed as she spoke to him and looked down, ashamed of the way she treated him in the past; the way she used him.

Spike watched her, the way she moved, it was different than he remembered. She was slow at everything she did. He wondered how she had been patrolling, or even if she had been. He could tell that she was not the same person, physically or emotionally. As he walked to the bed, all he could think was if he had known his death would leave her this way, he would have run with her.

Kneeling down on the floor in front of her, just as he did the night her friends had betrayed her, he took her hands in his.

"Listen to me, Slayer. How could you possibly think I don't love you anymore? I told you before that you're the only thing I've ever been sure of. I meant that. I love you, Buffy."

Buffy looked up to meet his eyes. He was on the edge of tears from seeing her in so much pain. She let go of his hands to wrap her arms around him, whispering in his ear, "Hold me, Spike."

Spike's stood up, bringing her with him, and wrapped his arms around her as tightly as he could without hurting her. They stood in their tight embrace for a few minutes, not wanting it to end. They were interrupted by the quiet knock on the bedroom door.

Pulling away, Buffy smiled up at him and spoke softly, "I bet it's Dawn. It feels like she checks on me every hour on the hour."

Spike made his way to the door, opening it to find Xander. Not wanting to make an ugly scene, Spike stepped aside, giving Xander room to come in.

"Spike," Xander started, "I know we never really got along. But, I'm glad you're here."

Spike smiled and extended his hand out to Xander, shocked but relived that he would have no problems from him. After shaking hands, Xander hugged Buffy, and said his goodbyes, allowing them privacy.

Closing the door behind Xander, Spike turned around to face Buffy and smile at her. She returned the smile and held out her hand to him.

"Lay with me, Spike?"

Without hesitation, Spike took her hand and positioned himself on the bed so that she would fit comfortably in his arms. She pressed herself into him, in a spooning position, and placed her arms over his. The two of them laid there in the silence, reflecting on what had happened in the past few hours. Buffy couldn't believe he was there, alive. She would have given anything for his return. She thought about Angel and his betrayal. Then, shaking those thoughts from her head, she focused on the man she loved. She looked down at his right hand and saw scars matching those on her left hand. Softly, she ran her fingertips over them.

"We have matching burns on our hands, Spike."

Upon hearing this, Spike tightened his grip on Buffy, "I know, love. I noticed downstairs when you took my hand."

A few moments passed as they held each other in the quiet, before either spoke again. Buffy wriggled from his grip and turned on her other side to face him. First, she buried her face in his neck and took a deep breath, "I miss your smell."

With a light chuckle, Spike smelled her hair, "I missed yours too, pet."

Sitting up, Buffy reached under her pillow. "I have your t-shirt. It was on the bus after. Your smell faded after a few weeks." Buffy handed him the shirt, looking in his eyes, "But, I don't need it anymore." She smiled.

Spike sat up, stunned that she slept with his shirt. He put the shirt down on the bed and took her face in his hands, kissing her with every ounce of love he had in him. She kissed him back with the same intensity, letting every problem she's ever had fade away.

Buffy broke the kiss when she realized she needed air. Gasping to catch her breath, Spike smirked, loving that he had literally taken her breath away.

"Spike, I need to show you something else. Please promise not to get mad."

"I promise. What is it?" Spike was curious what else she could possibly have to show him. He watched as she walked to the door.

"Stay here. I'll be back in a second." Buffy opened the door, quickly running downstairs to retrieve what she had to show him.

She was back within a minute, with two books in her hands. She could see the confusion on his face and set the books on the bed in front of him.

"Buffy, h-how did you get these? Where did you get them?" Spike asked, sounding both confused and irritated.

"You promised you wouldn't get mad." Buffy stated, sitting on the bed next to him as he flipped through the pages.

"I'm not mad, love." He looked up at her, smiling, "Just confused."

Twisting the ring around her finger, to hide the stones, she explained. "When you heard Angel on the phone with me, it was him giving me your address. Your address here, in London, when you were alive."

She stopped to see his reaction, and continued. "I wanted something of yours, desperately. He told me the house you lived in with your mom was owned by your living relatives, and that the last he heard, they hadn't touched yours or you mom's rooms. So, I went. I pretended I was an ancestor looking for pictures to give me information about my family. The lady that lived there, she rents the downstairs from the owner. She let me look around upstairs."

Buffy paused to give Spike time to reflect on what she had told him so far. He closed the journals and put them to the side, allowing her to finish her story.

"So, I chose a room. I knew it was yours before I even walked in. I found these in a chest. I knew I shouldn't take them… Steal them. But, I just felt I had to. When I opened them and saw your handwriting, I just-I'm sorry, I know they're your personal thoughts-"

Spike interrupted her, "Don't be sorry. If there was anyone I wouldn't mind reading them it's you. They're bloody awful though." He smiled big, attempting to make her laugh.

"I don't think they're awful, I think they're beautiful." Buffy ran her thumb across his cheek before giving him a sweet kiss on the forehead. "There's one more thing I took."

Buffy showed him her left hand, turning the ring back around as he looked. She could tell he recognized the ring right away with the sigh that escaped his lips. He looked in her eyes as he spoke, "Where was that ring?"

"It was in the chest with your journals." Thinking he was upset with her, she removed the ring and placed it in his hand. "I only took it because it seemed important, and I thought if it was important to you, it would be worth having."

Taking his attention from the ring and back to Buffy, Spike felt his eyes start to water. "This was my mother's engagement ring. Sh-she gave it to me. Told me to give it to a proper lady, when I gave her my heart. But, it never happened."

Buffy took Spike's hand, "Spike."

"Until now, that is."

Confused, Buffy asked, "What?"

"My mum told me to give this ring to a proper lady. The lady I give my heart to. That's you, love."

Spike took Buffy's left hand, slipping the ring back on the finger she had worn it on.

"I love you, Buffy. My mum would have loved you too."


	8. Chapter 8

This is a super short chapter! Thanks for the reviews!

* * *

As Spike slipped the ring on Buffy's finger, she couldn't help but make a small 'o' with her mouth.

"Spike, I can't keep your mother's ring."

Shaking his head, Spike disagreed with her, "I want you to have it. It was meant to belong to the woman who owns my heart. That's you, pet. Marry me?"

Stunned, Buffy stared at him, at a loss for words. "Spike, I… Yes." She smiled up at him, leaning in to kiss his lips.

Breaking the kiss and taking ahold of her hand, Spike fidgeted nervously.

"There's one more thing I need to tell you, pet. I left out a part of the story downstairs. I didn't want to dump more on you after all you heard with Angel, and myself. I don't know how you're going to respond to this…"

Noticing how nervous he was, Buffy started to feel anxious. "What is it? You know you can tell me anything."

Nodding slowly, Spike began his story.

"Well, you see, it happened the day I became corporeal. Angel had gotten a lead on the Shanshu Prophecy. Have you heard of it?"

Buffy nodded, "Yeah, but I didn't think it was real."

"Well, it is. Or was. Anyway, Angel had a lead and was certain he was guaranteed it. How could he be certain it was his, you know? It states a vampire with a soul will sacrifice during an apocalypse and be rewarded humanity."

Spike stopped talking when he saw the look of confusion on Buffy's face. He laid back on the bed, pulling her in his lap as he finished his story.

"So, I go after him. Long story short, we fought, I won."

Buffy sat up and turned to face him and began questioning frantically, "What do you mean? You won? The prophecy?"

Spike smiled big and took her hand as he answered her, "Buffy, I think you've just been so preoccupied to notice."

"Notice what?" Buffy asked. But, as she gripped his hand, she realized he was warm.

"Pet?" Spike asked, tilting his head to the side as he watched her.

"You're warm?" She whispered, "Spike?"

Spike took the hand he was holding and placed it on his chest, watching her face light up as she felt the beating of his heart. Buffy stayed as still as possible, reveling in the feeling of her love's heart.

"You're human?" Buffy asked, smiling through her tears.

"Yes, love. I'm human. Have been for almost 2 whole days."

Buffy fell back into Spike's embrace, pressing her head against his chest and listening to the sound of his heartbeat, while he stroked her hair. Neither of them could believe what had just happened. Twelve hours ago, Buffy had been distraught, unable to get over the death of the man she loved. Now, here they were, engaged.

"Spike?"

Looking down at his fiancé, he responded, "Yeah, pet?"

"Let's go downstairs and tell everyone." She said, sitting up, with a huge smile plastered on her face.

"Tell them I'm human?"

Nodding her head, Buffy answered, "Yes." She kissed his cheek, "And that we're engaged."

"You want to just come out and tell them? Don't want to wait a little bit?"

Buffy shook her head, "No. I don't ever want to put things off again. Not with you."


	9. Chapter 9

"Love, I'm glad you don't want to hide anything anymore, but are you sure you want to rush down there and tell everyone?" Spike held Buffy as tight as he could, running his hand through her hair.

Turning to face him, Buffy reached a hand up to his cheek, "I want them to know exactly how I feel. I want them to know that I am in love with you. I want them to know that you aren't going anywhere, and that they will either accept it and love you, or not be welcome in my life."

Tilting his head, Spike smiled down at her softly, nuzzling his face in her hand. He couldn't help but wonder how much must have changed while he was gone. He never imagined her wanting to be upfront about her feelings for him, especially with the watcher. It was no secret that he disapproved of him, and she hadn't been happy about his attempt to have him killed. There were so many things they needed to talk about, but at the moment, he just wanted to make her happy. If she wanted to tell her friends, then they would tell them.

"Okay pet. If you want to tell them now, let's go tell them."

Grinning from ear to ear, Buffy grabbed his hand, leading him downstairs into the living room. The look of pure happiness on both Buffy and Spike's faces was a sight none of them thought they would ever witness. Xander, Willow, Dawn, and Giles sat quietly, waiting for one of the obviously happy couple to speak.

Still holding hands, Buffy sat down on the couch next to Giles, pulling Spike down with her. After settling herself half on the couch, and half in Spike's lap, Buffy looked around the room to make sure everyone was present.

Giles uncomfortably broke the silence in the room, "Well, Buffy, it's quite… quite nice to see you smile again."

Smiling at her former watcher, Buffy responded, "Thank you, Giles."

As if he could read Buffy's mind, Giles took the next step, extending his hand to Spike, "Spike, I know we haven't exactly had the best history, but seeing Buffy look this lively and happy, makes me truly glad you're here."

Skeptically, Spike shook his hand, smiling softly, "Thanks, Rupes. Does this mean you won't try to have me killed again?"

Spike noticed the smile on Buffy's face fade and wrapped his arm around her. "Hey, pet. I was just kidding. I have no hard feelings. I know why he did it."

Buffy wrapped her arms around Spike's waist and cuddled into his side.

"Spike, I know it's too little, too late, but I apologize for my part in that. Please know you will never have to worry about me trying to hurt you again. But, also know that my relationship with Buffy is still strained due to my actions. She doesn't trust me, and she is right to be wary of me. She may not appreciate me telling you this, but she is quite sensitive when it comes to you, and she has been a mess without you here."

Looking down at the small figure clutching his body, Spike heard Buffy sniffle quietly and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

Sitting up, Buffy wiped the few tears from her face, "I told you I missed you." Buffy, repositioned herself on the couch against Spike's lap, and placed her hands on his leg.

"I missed you too, pet." Spike said, wrapping one arm around her shoulder and placing his other hand atop hers.

"So guys, there's something you guys need to know." Buffy spoke to her friends, "The reason Angel came here before Spike had a chance to."

With four sets of eyes on him, Spike began his story, "Long story short, Angel got wind of the Sanshu Prophecy, we fought, I won, he came, I came, he left, I stayed."

"Way to be as vague as possible, Spike!" Xander said jokingly.

Dawn jabbed Xander in the side before asking her string of questions. "What is Sanshu Prophecy? Why did you fight? What did you win?"

Chuckling, Spike answered, "Calm down there Bit."

Buffy, smiling proudly, "Dawnie, Sanshu-"

"Is a prophecy the council thought to be a myth." Giles interrupted, dumbfounded at what he was hearing. "Wow, Spike. Congratulations. You have certainly proven that you deserve it."

Dawn, looking back and forth between her sister, Spike, and Giles, "Okay… But what is it? What does it entail?"

Willow and Xander, both lost for words at the exchange happening in front of them, watched as Spike held his hand out for Dawn.

"Come here, Niblet."

Spike took Dawn's hand as she reached the couch, and pulled her into his lap. With a nod and a smile from her older sister, assuring everything was fine, Dawn relaxed into his embrace.

"Bit, Sanshu is a prophecy that grants humanity to a vampire with a soul; one that sacrifices himself to save the world."

Not fully understanding what she was being told, Dawn looked back and forth between Spike and her sister, "What are you saying?"

Spike took Dawn's hand and placed it over his heart. A few seconds later, he saw her face light up when she realized his heart was beating.

"Shut up!" Dawn screeched, throwing her arms around him and burying her head in his chest, hugging him tightly and sobbing.

Finally, after a few minutes, Dawn was able to compose herself, and leaned back to look at her best friend. "You're alive?"

With a grin, Spike tucked a few stray strands of hair behind Dawn's ear, "Yes, Bitty. I'm alive and I'm not going anywhere." Spike pulled her in for one more hug before hugging a very excited Willow, followed by shaking Xander's hand with a silent agreement to treat the girls right.

While Spike was busy with the Scoobies and Dawn, Buffy turned to Giles, who had been abnormally quiet.

"Giles?"

Turning his attention to his former slayer, Giles smiled softly, "Buffy, I'm so happy for you. I trust you have finally told him how you feel?"

Remembering the second part of their announcement, Buffy nodded with a smile.

"Um, guys, there's one more thing." Buffy said, turning to make eye contact with her fiancé.

Spike joined Buffy on the other side of the room and took her hand as she began her part of their announcements.

"Spike-William and I, " Buffy looked around to each of her friends as she spoke, hoping for a good reaction from them all, "we're getting married."

* * *

Some Angel drama coming in the next chapter! Things for Buffy and Spike can never be this picture perfect! There have to be issues along the way! ;)


	10. Chapter 10

As everyone stared at Buffy and Spike, Spike squeezed her hand, reassuringly. While Buffy didn't care if this relationship was approved by her friends or not, she still didn't want to deal with the drama of everyone hating the man she loved.

"Somebody, please say something," Buffy pleaded, making eye contact with Dawn.

"Oh my God, I'm so happy for you!" Dawn screeched like a child as she commenced a group hug between her sister and best friend. "Am I the maid of honor? Tell me I don't have to be the flower girl…"

"Dawn! Slow down. We've literally been engaged for twenty minutes. There's plenty of time to plan later." Buffy said, holding Dawn in place by her shoulders.

"Yeah, Bit. Let's not get too carried away. There is so much more to talk about first. Like a date and place. We'll sort that later. First, I want to spend quality time with the two people I missed more than anything in the world," Spike said, as he pulled Dawn and Buffy in for one more hug, letting it linger a few seconds.

Willow and Xander made their way to Buffy and Spike. Willow smiling like a maniac, pulled them both in for a hug, "I'm so happy for you guys!"

After hugging Willow, Buffy and Spike watched Xander, both not knowing what to expect from him. Hugging Buffy, Xander whispered in her ear, "I'm glad to see you so happy."

Breaking away from Buffy, Xander turned towards the man he had once tried to kill. Holding his hand out for the second time in the same day, Spike and Xander shook hands.

Spike looked at Xander, skeptically, "No rude remarks, Harris?"

Shaking his head, "Nah, I've got nothing, Fang Face. She's happy."

"You can't call me that now, boy. I'm not exactly "fangy and grrr" anymore." Spike countered, as he used his fingers to simulate fangs.

Laughing slightly, Xander slapped him on the back, "You'll always be Fang Face to me, Spike. Even when you're 80 and… My God how weird is that gonna be? Spike is going to get old along with us? Is that how it works?"

"I honestly don't know what this prophecy entails. I would assume I do." Spike chuckled, taking Buffy's hand again, hating not touching her every second.

Holding Spike's hand, Buffy looked at Giles, waiting for his response. She knew deep down she would always love him like a father, no matter how much he let her down. Giles, cleaning his glasses, requested they talk in private.

Rolling her eyes, Buffy agreed, letting go of Spike's hand and walking to the opposite side of the living room. She couldn't help but giggle when she heard Spike whimper at their sudden loss of contact.

Before he could speak, Buffy spoke. "Giles, I don't care. I love him. I want this." Buffy said, defensively.

With a soft sigh, Giles responded, "Buffy, I wasn't going to argue. I just wanted to make sure this is absolutely what you want. Tell me it is and I won't ever question it again."

"It is," Buffy stated, simply.

"Then, I'm truly happy for you and wish you both the best. I love you, Buffy, and I suppose in time I can learn to love Spike as well." Giles pulled her in for a hug as tears threatened to fall down both of their faces.

Hugging him back, Buffy felt all of her anger, disappointment, and resentment melt away. She felt that with everything that had happened in the past few hours, it was time to start new.

As they made their way back to the rest of the group, Spike grabbed Buffy around the waist and pulled her close, taking her breath away again with the head spinning kiss he placed on her lips. Neither of them noticed the playful remarks being made as Buffy's arms made their way around Spike's neck.

However, their romantic moment was cut short when the front door was slammed so hard it rattled the house. When Buffy saw Angel in front of her, standing in her foyer, vamped out and smiling as he blew out his cigarette smoke, she froze as the color drained from her face when he spoke.

"Hey, Buff. Long time, no see, huh?"


	11. Chapter 11

Thanks for the reviews! FYI Spike does still retain his strength and his ability to vamp out =)

* * *

Seeing Angelus standing in the foyer of the home she shared with her loved ones and now, the man she'd spend her life with, shook Buffy to her core. So many thoughts ran through her head all at once, causing her a dizzy spell, before finally seeing black and collapsing in Spike's arms.

Spike carefully carried his love to the couch, placing her down, as Willow held out her hand towards Angelus, casting a spell that made him unable to move, "Be still!"

Trying to wake her, Spike gently ran his fingertips over Buffy's cheek, speaking softly to her, "Love, wake up. Please."

Bending down farther, Spike placed a gentle peck on Buffy's forehead, pleading one more time. "Come back to us, Kitten."

Fluttering her eyes open, Buffy looked up at Spike hovering over her. She smiled at him before realizing what happened as she shot up from the couch. Seeing Angelus under Willow's spell and unable to move made Buffy a little more at ease, at least as much at ease as she could be under the circumstances.

Turning to Giles, Buffy asked for his help.

"Giles, how did this happen? How did he lose his soul? He was just here…" Buffy's voice trailed off before realizing that it had to be Angelus in her home earlier that day. He simply didn't have enough time to have lost his soul.

"He was Angelus the whole time." Buffy looked up at Spike, "Did you know Angel was gone?"

Seeing the sadness and fear in Buffy's facial expression made Spike's now-beating heart hurt.

"No, love. If I'd have known I would have killed him before he could find you. I don't know what I would have done if he'd have hurt you or the Bit…" Spike made eye contact with Buffy as she cupped his cheek, wiping away the single tear that had fallen form his eye.

"We're fine, Spike. Don't worry about what could've happened." Dawn walked over to him, hugging his waist tightly before pulling away to wait for the Scoobies' game plan.

"Whatever we do, Buff, the spell I have holding him there will only last a few more minutes at the most." Willow, still holding her hand in front of her, looked back at her best friend, waiting for her decision.

"I've already killed him once, I guess I can do it again. This time should be easier. I have more at stake. Get it?"

"Really, Buffy? Punning now?" Xander chuckled as he asked his question, happy that she knew what she had to do.

"Dawn," Buffy's attention turning to her little sister, "I want you and Xander upstairs now. No arguments."

Turning back to Xander, "Make sure she stays with you. I know you'll keep her safe."

Xander nodded before taking Dawn's hand, leading her around a still not moving Angelus and heading upstairs.

"Willow, I may need your powers for this. Can you somehow protect us from a distance?"

Smiling at Buffy, Willow nodded her head, "Of course, Buffy."

"Ok then." Buffy let out a loud sigh, walking to the new weapons chest Xander had just finished a few days prior, and pulling out a handful of stakes, an axe, and a few crossbows. With Angelus, you could never be too prepared.

"Spike, Giles, take what you want. Willow, take a stake just in case." Buffy said, arming herself with a stake in her back pocket as well as her hand.

"Be careful, all of you." Buffy was talking to all three of them, but only looking at one.

Spike closed the gap between them, bringing her in for a kiss while they had a chance. As they pulled apart, Buffy cupped Spike's cheek with her free hand, gazing into his eyes and smiling up at him.

"Spike, promise me you'll be careful. If you... If you left me again, I'd die." Buffy spoke only loud enough for Spike to hear, before kissing him one more time.

As they pulled away, Spike winked at her, "Right, then. Gotta do this."

Buffy winced hearing those words. The same words Spike had spoken in the Hellmouth just before she told him she loved him. Before anyone was able to comment on her appearance, Willow's spell ended.

"I hope you all had your fun there for a few minutes." Angelus, walking toward Buffy, smirked as he talked.

"I'll have even more fun once I kill you." Buffy countered, gripping her stake as she raised her arm.

Angelus grabbed Buffy's wrist and stared at her. Smiling slightly, his face turned back to human form.

"You not even going to ask how I lost my soul this time? It's a funny story really."

"Why should I care Angel? We're over, have been for years. And besides, you won't be around much longer anyway."

"Spike." Angelus spoke, no emotion behind the name he said.

Hearing his name made Buffy pause, worried, she had to know what he knew, "What about him?"

"You chose Spike over me, Buff. That hurt. You made Angel want to lose his soul."

Buffy, unable to answer, just looked at him standing in front of her. When he realized she wasn't going to speak, Angelus continued.

"Don't you get it, Buffy? You hurt him. All that time you spent crying over Spike's death. You really think Angel wanted to hear how much you missed him? I mean come on! It's Spike! He's useless. I bet he can't even get you off."

Buffy slapped Angelus as hard as she could with her free hand, causing him to lose his grip on her wrist and stumble backwards a few feet.

"Spike is ANYTHING but useless, he's everything," Buffy said, glancing at Spike before looking back to Angelus.

With an evil sounding laugh, Angelus spoke again. "Still don't get it do you? This is your fault. Angel sought out a warlock to help him lose his soul, so I could kill you for the pain you caused him. But, I think I'll let you watch me kill lover boy here first"

Before anyone could react, Angelus had a death grip around Spike's neck.


	12. Chapter 12

Afraid to move, Buffy stared at the scene in front of her. Angelus had his hands wrapped around Spike's neck, ready to choke him, "Since he's human now, killing him is pretty simple, huh?"

Buffy, not knowing what to do to help Spike, felt Giles place his hand on her shoulder trying to comfort her, and saw Willow in the corner of the room, silently chanting. With the tears forming in her eyes, Buffy whimpered a single word to her enemy, "Please."

"Oh, hearing you cry over this will make it even better. Go ahead, beg me not to do it." Angelus laughed, enjoying the torture he was about to inflict on Spike as well as Buffy.

Buffy felt powerless, afraid to make a move at the risk of Angelus killing Spike. When her eyes met Spike's she felt her world crumble around her. He looked scarred, and seeing that made her heart hurt. Taking a risk, and ignoring Giles yelling for her to stop, she slowly walked toward the two, dropping her stake to show Angelus she was unarmed, and hoping he would chose to fight her instead.

"You want me, take me. Just let him go. Leave him out of this." Buffy kept her composure, showing Angelus she meant what she said.

"Buffy, love, no, don't do this." Spike was shaking his head, trying to break from the grip Angelus still held him in.

"I can't watch you die again. I won't." Buffy looked from Spike to Angelus, "Let him go. Take me instead."

After a few moments of contemplating, and releasing a chuckle, Angelus let go of Spike's neck before answering Buffy, "Fine, I won't make you watch him die. I'll let him watch you die, then, I'll kill him. Don't say I never gave you any compassion, Buff."

"Try it and you die. Actually, you'll die either way." Buffy said, with an attitude.

"You try it, and I'll kill everyone in this house. Maybe not Dawn, I may just be her sire," Angelus threw the first punch at Buffy, causing her to stumble a bit.

"You know I'll never let it happen."

"Oh come on, you won't kill me. You'll just stare at me and cry."

"It's not like I haven't already killed you once. You just didn't stay dead." Buffy retorted.

"Well, come on then, Buff. Let's do this," Angelus punched Buffy as he finished speaking.

Buffy's mind raced as she heard the shouts coming from both Spike and Giles. But, not sure what they had actually said, she jumped right into the fight with her first love. Having been the first fight she had been in for weeks, she felt herself lagging, and knew he could tell.

"You haven't kept up your training, little miss. That's advantage number one for me." Angelus laughed, taunting her weak form.

"I may not have kept up my training, but I have enough anger pent up in me to make up for it." Buffy swiftly kicked Angelus in the face, causing him to growl in response.

"You've only pissed me off now." Growling loudly, Angelus fought harder, throwing a punch hard enough to knock Buffy off her feet.

When she felt the blow to her head that knocked her to the floor, she heard a possessive growl, this time one she both knew and loved. Looking up from her spot on the floor, she saw Spike, in full vamp face, attack Angelus, knocking him to the ground. As she stood up, she heard Willow's chanting get progressively louder, and saw Giles run at Angelus with a stake in hand.

Everything happened so fast, it was hard for Buffy to process it all at once. Before she knew it, Spike was on the floor, Willow had collapsed on the window seat behind her, Giles stood still, Angelus was gone, and a small pile of dust was where he had been.


	13. Chapter 13

Buffy stood staring at the scene in front of her. Seeing Spike brushing dust off of his clothes, she met his eyes and saw him hold his hand out to her. With a small smile, showing relief, Buffy took his hand and looked back at the floor.

Giles was the first to speak, "Well, Buffy…"

Resting her head on Spike's shoulder, Buffy turned to face Giles, "I knew the day would come sooner or later. He was bound to lose his soul again… Giles, do you think he was telling the truth? That he wanted to lose it this time? So he wouldn't feel the guilt of killing me?"

The grip Spike's arm had around Buffy's body tightened upon hearing her questions. If he had anything to do with it, this would be the last time anything ever tried to hurt his girl. He could feel his human emotions overcoming him. Not that he hadn't experienced emotions as a vampire, especially when he gained his soul, but the intensity of them after becoming human was something he wasn't accustomed to quite yet.

"I'm not sure, Buffy. Angelus was always known to say anything he thought would upset you. But then again, you can't exactly trust what he would say."

Willow re-entered the room, bringing along with her a broom and dust pan. Looking from Giles to Buffy to Spike, Willow began to sweep the dust into a single pile before placing the pan on the floor. Before sweeping the dust into the pan, Willow looked at Buffy one last time, asking for permission with her eyes. When Buffy nodded, Willow swept up Angel's remains and took the supplies away into the kitchen.

Giles, cleaning his glasses, spoke once more when Buffy didn't answer, "Well, I think I shall head upstairs and clean myself up a bit. I'll fill Dawn and Xander in on everything, and leave you two to yourselves for a bit, though I'm sure you'll want to talk to her on your own, together. If you need me, you know where to find me."

Spike led Buffy to the couch, pulling her down in his lap as he sat. Her being this quiet worried him, but when he felt her body curl into his he felt a little relief. Spike sat quietly, softly running his hand through her hair, while his other hand firmly supported her back.

"You okay, pet?" Spike whispered in her ear, hoping she would respond to him.

Repositioning herself so she could look at his face, she smiled slightly, cupping his cheek with her hand.

"I'm okay. It just happened so fast I didn't know how to respond at first. But, I'm relieved. Now I can focus on you…On us."

Reaching her hand back behind his head to play with the loose curls on his neck, Buffy placed a simple kiss on his lips. Before she was able to pull back, Spike wrapped his arms tightly around her body, holding her in place, and returned the kiss. Intensifying the kiss slightly, Spike heard a small moan come from Buffy, and couldn't help but smirk knowing he was the cause.

Breaking the kiss in need of oxygen, Buffy rested her forehead on his, both gasping for air. Panting softly, Buffy softly kissed the tip of Spike's nose before speaking.

"How is it possible I only got you back today?"

"I don't know, pet," laughing to himself, "it almost feels like we were never apart."

"I don't know what world you've been in since Sunnydale, but I feel like we were separated for years."

Hugging her tighter, Spike sighed, "I said 'almost,' kitten. Those days in LA without you were torture."

"Every day you were gone was more excruciating than the last," Buffy pulled his face in for another tender kiss, nibbling on his bottom lip enough to make him sigh.

Breaking the kiss before it went further in a room anyone could walk into, Buffy whispered in Spike's ear, "We should probably talk to Dawn and make sure she's okay with everything that's happened today."

With the cutest pout she had ever seen followed by a reluctant nod from Spike, Buffy stood up from the couch, and while never letting go of Spike's hand, headed upstairs to check on her sister, smiling, "Just so you know, it's gonna be a long time before I let you out of my sight again, Spike."

"No complaining on my part, pet," Spike said with an ear to ear grin as they headed up the steps, hand in hand.


	14. Chapter 14

Holding hands, Buffy and Spike made their way into Dawn's room to make sure she was doing okay with the information Giles had given her and Xander. Xander had left Dawn to herself and made his way back to his own bedroom. Closing the door behind him, Spike let go of Buffy's hand, allowing her to join her little sister on the bed. Spike kneeled on the floor to the side of the bed, smiling at Dawn when she acknowledged him. He didn't think he could express the joy he found in being with his girls again, he loved them both more than life itself.

"Dawnie? How are you handling everything that's happened today?" Buffy placed her hand over Dawn's as she asked.

"I'm fine, Buffy. Really I am. I mean, it sucks that Angel lost his soul and is dead now, but it was him or you." Dawn smiled at Buffy, showing that she really was fine. "And besides," Dawn turned to Spike and took his hand, "we got Spike back. Really that's all I care about right now."

Spike smiled at his 'Niblet' and pulled her down for a hug. While Dawn held him as tight as she could, Spike looked behind her at Buffy, noticing the look of joy in her eyes.

"I'm glad I'm here too, Bit," Spike said as they pulled away from one another.

Smiling, Buffy spoke up, "Listen guys, no one is happier that Spike's here than I am, but, it's been a long day for all of us. Maybe we should all just go to sleep and talk in the morning."

Buffy and Spike said their goodnights to Dawn and left her alone in her room. Walking down the hall to Buffy's room, there was a pause outside Buffy's door. Taking her hand, Spike brought it to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles.

"I'll sleep on the couch, leave you alone with your thoughts for the night. I don't wanna push things between us."

Spike let go of Buffy's hand and turned around to walk away, but was stopped when slayer strength arms grabbed him and pulled him back, "If you think you're sleeping anywhere besides curled up with me, you're a fool."

Relieved, Spike smiled and followed Buffy into her room. They were both content with the silence between them as they got ready to go to bed. Buffy washed her face and brushed her teeth in the bathroom that joined her bedroom, while Spike removed his boots and socks, then untucked his shirt from his pants. Hearing Buffy quietly hum to herself, Spike grinned as he felt his heart swell with love.

Upon returning to the room, Buffy smiled at Spike lounging on the bed waiting for his turn.

"There's a new toothbrush in the mirror cabinet. Um, if you need anything like manly things, Xander will help you out until we can go to the store tomorrow."

"Thanks, Pet." Spike kissed the top of Buffy's head before heading into the bathroom, "I'll just be a minute."

Buffy changed into a camisole and a pair of boy shorts before turning down the covers. After turning the overhead light off and turning the small table lamp on, Buffy got in bed and pulled the covers over her lap. Leaning her back against the pillows and headboard, Buffy was alone for the first time since Spike had walked back into her life. She felt her entire future change in an instant and welcomed it with open arms.

Buffy didn't hear Spike as he walked back into the bedroom. He could see her on the bed, wearing a tight fitting tank top thing, as he called it in his head. He watched her bring her knees up to her chin and wrap her arms around herself, as she began to softly shake. He knew she was crying, he could see it in the way her body trembled, he wasn't sure if the tears were happy or sad, if they were for him or Angel.

Closing the bathroom door as to make a sound to announce his presence, Spike made his way to the other side of the bed. He wasn't sure what he should sleep in, so he opted for what he was already wearing, minus his belt. He slid under the covers and immediately felt Buffy's body curl into his, wrapping her arm around his stomach and resting her head on his chest. He could definitely get used to this.

"Spike?" Buffy whispered, never moving from him.

"Yeah, pet?"

"Why are you wearing your clothes to bed?" Buffy asked with a smile behind her voice, "Aren't you uncomfortable?"

With a slight chuckle, Spike answered, "Yeah, a little. But, I didn't have anything else, and I didn't want to just strip down."

"We'll go shopping tomorrow and get you clothes and whatever else you need," Buffy moved her head up to his, kissing him with as much passion as she could get. As she kissed him, he felt her hands move down to his stomach, and felt her fingers playing with the hem of his shirt, bringing it up his body and finally pulling it over his head, "But for now, this really needs to go."


	15. Chapter 15

After tossing Spike's shirt across the room, Buffy straddled him, kissing him once more. Spike's fingers danced along Buffy's back as their tongues fought for control. Breaking apart for air, Buffy trailed her kisses across his cheek, down his neck and collarbone, until finally reaching his chest. Placing simple kisses over every inch of his chest, Buffy finally reached his left nipple. Using her tongue, she barely brushed against him and felt his whimper with the teasing contact. Doing the same to his right nipple, he whimpered again, sticking his lower lip out in a playful pout.

"I'm gonna get that lip next if you don't watch it." Buffy spoke softer than he'd ever heard, a hint of both love and lust in her voice.

Tucking his lip inside his mouth, Spike let out a moan louder than he intended when he felt Buffy playfully nibble on one nipple, while she pinched the other. Smiling when she heard his moan, Buffy kissed down to his belly button, paying close attention to the small trail of hair leading into his pants.

When Spike felt Buffy unbutton his pants, he grabbed her hand, "Love, wait."

"What's wrong?" Buffy asked, dumbfounded by his protest.

Spike was silent; it wasn't that he didn't know what to say, it was that he didn't know how to say it. When what felt like a full minute passed without an answer, Buffy crawled back up to meet his face. She couldn't see much because it was dark, but the soft moonlight was enough to see his eyes were closed and jaw was clenched like he was trying to force himself not to cry.

"Spike?"

When no answer came, she tried once more, "William." Pulling his face toward her, forcing him to look at her, "What's wrong?"

"Pet, it's nothing you did. I just feel different," Spike stroked Buffy's cheek as he spoke to her, trying not to upset her.

"You…feel different? About us?" After a few seconds Buffy posed another question, "About me?"

Sitting up and pulling her to him, Spike ran his hand over her back, "No, no. I love you, Buffy. I feel different about me, pet. I'm human again after over a hundred years, and it's just… I'm just not used to it is all."

"Oh… I guess I just thought you'd wanna make love tonight," Buffy looked down at her hands, almost ashamed of her thoughts.

With a small sigh, Spike lifted her chin up, "This is bloody embarrassing, Buffy. What I'm about to tell you."

Letting go of her chin and taking ahold of her hand instead, he continued, "When I was alive, I was a right ponce. I was a nobody, worse than Andrew-"

Wide eyed, Buffy interrupted, "You couldn't have been worse than Andrew! It's Andrew, Spike!"

"Shaking his head in disbelief, "I was, truly. I spent my time writing bloody awful poetry and professing my love for women who were too good for me, who knew I was beneath them."

"You are not beneath anyone, I don't care how nerdy you thought you were. When I said that to you, I didn't mean it, I just wanted to hurt you… I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, pet. I got over that right after you said it, sat on your porch with you the whole night, remember?"

With both of them smiling at the fond memory, Spike continued, "Anyway… Now that I'm human again, even though I still have my strength and can vamp out when needed, I somewhat feel like poor little Willy again."

Pausing, Spike looked Buffy in the eye, he knew he could tell her anything, trust her with anything, but at the same time he was embarrassed.

"Spike, what would be so bad about your human side coming through again? Even if you were a ponce," Buffy used finger quotes when using his word, "you'd still be you. What's so embarrassing about your human emotions shining through again?"

"Buffy… When I died, I was a virgin." Spike said it so fast it took Buffy a moment to realize what he had actually said.

Eyes widening, Buffy caught on, "Oh!"

"It's just that it was a different time then, Buffy. Things weren't done that way then. Technically, I'm a virgin. Please don't poke fun at me."

Hearing the plea in his voice, Buffy couldn't help but be in awe of the moment.

"Why would I ever make fun of you?" Buffy asked, kissing his cheek as she wrapped her arms around his body. "It's kinda whimsical though. After all the things we've done to each other," Buffy said, giggling like a school girl.

"Things I did as a vampire. It's just weird how I feel. These human emotions are messing with me. I think I just need a few days to get myself straightened out. I'm still getting used to needing to drink water to survive."

Lying back down under the covers, Buffy snuggled up to her fiancé, "How about we just sleep tonight then?"

"I love you, Buffy." Spike kissed the top of her head before closing his eyes to find sleep.

"I love you, William. I hope the dreams finally come to an end now…"


	16. Chapter 16

Snuggled up to Spike, with her head on his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, Buffy felt like her world was finally complete. She felt as is all of her problems had been washed away in one day. She reflected on the day as she traced soft patterns on Spike's upper arm. She couldn't believe that not even 24 hours ago, she was bawling her eyes out to Xander about Spike not believing her when he died, and now here he was holding her. Then, her mind drifted to thoughts of Angel. While the bigger part of her was happy Angelus was gone, a small part mourned for him in a way. He was, after all, her first love. While there had been nothing between them for years, Buffy couldn't help but feel sadness in her heart that he was gone; and gone so suddenly. But, it was either him or everyone she cared for.

Buffy slowly repositioned herself so that Spike was still holding her, but she could see his face. With the soft light from the moon peaking in, she could only make out some of his features, but to her, it was everything. She watched him as he slept, taking mental notes of the way his nostrils slightly flared when taking a breath. She had seen him breathe before as a vampire, when he was awake and was just doing it out of habit, but had never imagined seeing him take breaths while asleep. She could feel his heartbeat against her head and could hear the faint thumps. Buffy felt her own heart swell as she thought about their new life together, the things they could now have and do.

After realizing it was almost 3 am and she had been staring at him for at least 3 hours, Buffy decided it was time to get some sleep. Trying to settle down, Buffy entwined one of her legs between his, trying to be as close as possible, placed one hand on his bare chest, and closed her eyes, letting herself drift off.

Opening his eyes, he saw the stream of sunlight frame the face of the only woman he's ever truly loved in his entire existence. Of course he had loved Drusilla, but even being together for a hundred years didn't compare to the way he felt about Buffy. Buffy gave his unlife, and now life, meaning. She was his everything. Watching her as she slept, Spike gently pushed away a few stray hairs behind her ear. Waking up next to her was something he thought he'd never get to do again, yet here they were. He couldn't help but pull her closer to his body, and placing tender kisses on the top of her head.

"Mmmmrrrrr," Buffy half-moaned and half-grumbled at being woken.

Smiling to himself, Spike brushed the hair out of her face when she jerked to keep the sun out of her eyes.

"Morning, pet."

Realizing that she wasn't dreaming, Buffy looked up at the man holding her in his arms, "Morning."

Meeting each other for a kiss, Buffy pulled away with a soft screech, rubbing her face, "You have stubble!"

Rubbing his own face, Spike looked mortified, "Oh, balls!"

Jumping from the bed, Spike ran to the bathroom. Buffy, still laughing, followed behind him. When she caught up to him, he was staring at himself in the mirror, rubbing his cheeks, chin, and upper lip.

"Spike. You're human now. Didn't you think that would mean you'd have to shave?"

Pouting, he replied, "No…"

Seeing his pout proved to be too cute for Buffy to handle. She walked behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his back.

"Spikey, you're gonna have to shave every day. Unless you want to be hairy-man."

Turning around in her arms to face her, Spike smiled and kissed her again, making sure to rub his face against hers.

"It tickles! Stop!" Buffy couldn't help but giggle and run away, as he chased close behind her.

Buffy jumped back into bed, hiding under the covers. Spike, right behind her, ripped the covers off of her and attacked her face with his stubble, making his way to her neck.

In between fits of laughter and giggling, Buffy managed to choke out the words, "William! Tickles! Spiiiike!"

Giving in, Spike sat up on the bed next to her, grinning from ear to ear, watching her catch her breath.

"You're lucky I didn't pee on you," Buffy said, running to the bathroom to take care of business.

Waiting for her to return, Spike leaned back against the bed, smiling to himself at their playtime. '_If this is what mornings are going to be like now, I can definitely live with that_,' Spike thought to himself.

* * *

I thought we needed a super cute chapter =)

Thanks for the reviews!


	17. Chapter 17

Returning from the bathroom, Buffy watched Spike as he leaned back in bed, smiling to himself. When he saw her out of the corner of his eye, he turned his head, smiling at her as she made her way back to the bed. Lifting up the covers, Spike welcomed her back, covering her as she cuddled up to him, making sure she was warm. Kissing the top of her head as she rested it on his shoulder, Spike wrapped his arms around Buffy and held her close.

"I love you, Kitten," Spike whispered as he played with her hair.

Moaning softly, Buffy replied, "I love you, William. I'll forgive you for tickling me this one time."

"Oh? Just this once, eh?"

A few seconds went by with no response from Buffy. Thinking she had fallen back to sleep, Spike closed his eyes to get some more sleep. When he was on the verge of sleep, he felt Buffy's body shake. Lifting her head to see her face, he saw her tears and felt his heart breaking again.

"Oh, pet," Spike frowned when he saw the sadness on her face.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled, "it's just… you're here. You're alive."

"I'm alive. And I'm not going anywhere. Ever."

Spike kissed Buffy on each cheek, wiping away her tears in the process.

Shaking her head and rubbing her face, Buffy cleared her throat, "Sorry. I'm fine. Why don't I go make us some breakfast?"

Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, Spike smiled softly at her, "I'd love that. Can I help?"

"Of course you can. What was your favorite breakfast when you were human?"

"My mum used to make homemade biscuits and sausage gravy with bacon and eggs. Makes me drool just thinking about it."

Looking at Spike with a blank expression, Buffy realized she wouldn't be able to make him a proper meal without a grocery visit first.

"Well, I didn't think this through. I'd have to go shopping first. I haven't cooked in weeks and I doubt we have any of what you just said."

"It's ok, pet-"

"No!" Buffy interrupted Spike, "You're here and I want to take care of you, which means cooking for you. How about we go out for breakfast today, and go to the store together? Then, I'll make you lunch and dinner and breakfast tomorrow."

Seeing Buffy so into being a domesticated housewife made Spike love her even more. She always did get excited over the littlest things.

"Sounds great, love. But, it's already past 10, so I think breakfast is out."

Sitting up, Buffy straddled Spike's lap, "Damn. Well, we could just stay here for a while until it's lunch time."

Closing the gap between them, Buffy kissed Spike, softly at first, but soon he intensified the kiss. Feeling his hands up and down her back, Buffy moaned quietly. Breaking for air, the two rested their foreheads against each other's for a moment before Spike kissed her again. Feeling the spark between them growing, Buffy couldn't help but grind against him as they kissed.

It didn't take long for Buffy to realize what she was doing. Pulling back, looking embarrassed, she apologized as she moved to sit next to him on the bed.

"I'm sorry, I know we said we were gonna wait. I don't know what came over me. Let's just get dressed and go shopping, okay?"

Looking at her for a few moments, Spike smiled, "Sounds good, baby. But for the record, don't ever be sorry for wanting that. I want it, I want you. I just want to wait until I'm straightened out with being a human again."

"I understand. I can't even imagine what you must be going through with all of these changes. Then you throw in us and I bet it's just a cluster fuck of emotions."

"Baby's got a potty-mouth," Spike smirked, pulling her in for one more kiss before they started their day.

Giggling, Buffy returned the kiss before eventually breaking away to get dressed.

"Do you want to wear the same outfit as yesterday? Cause I can go get some of Xander's clothes for you."

"Naw, these will be fine, pet. It's just until we get to a store today."

"Do I get to help you pick out clothes?" Buffy asked, anxiously.

Groaning out loud, Spike didn't know how to answer, "Not if you're gonna have me dressed like a ponce. I have my reputation to protect, you know."

Turning around, Buffy slipped her camisole off, leaving her bare back facing Spike. He watched her as she put her bra on, struggling to clasp it properly behind her.

"Need some help, love?" Spike's voice was so low it made Buffy shiver.

Turning her head back to face him, she bit her bottom lip and nodded.

Spike made his way to her, while she swept her hair off her shoulders to keep it out of the way. Spike pulled the bra together behind her, clasping the hooks together, and placed a tender kiss between her shoulder blades.

Quickly, Buffy threw her t-shirt over her head, finishing her outfit for the day.

Spike offered his hand to her as they made their way to the door, "We need to go now or we're never gonna make it out of this room."

Laughing in agreement, Buffy took his hand, letting him lead her down the hall.


	18. Chapter 18

Three days have passed since Spike returned to Buffy. They had made sure to spend those three days with each other as much as possible. They did the grocery shopping together, although Buffy had a hard time keeping Spike from acting like a child in the cereal aisle, and made all three meals together each day. They both loved making dinner for everyone at night. They always made sure to have every food group as well as a homemade dessert. While any other time the two of them spending this much time together would have irritated and annoyed the others in the house, but the way Buffy had come around and become her old self again made them grateful for the amount of time they were spending together.

Buffy had insisted that Spike officially move in with her. She had suggested they go shopping to furnish their bedroom, allowing him to put some of his style into the room. Since she hadn't cared before, the bedroom was bare. It took an entire day of shopping, but they finally were able to find the perfect combination of girly and gothic to meet their tastes. Buffy had suggested they made the room's colors black and red, which made Spike love her more, if that was possible. After painting the walls a dark red, they decorated with pictures of Dawn, Joyce, Xander, Willow, and Tara; they added a new lamp, a few vases with faux flowers, and put the final touches on the room with red satin sheets and a black comforter.

"I think it looks great!" Buffy was excited as she looked around the room to see if everything was done.

"It does, pet. I love the red walls, makes it feel homey."

Smiling at her love, Buffy nodded in agreement, "I love the red walls. I've never had a room that wasn't frilly and girly."

"We can always change it if you don't like it." Spike wanted Buffy to happy as well as comfortable.

"No, I love it. I love it because I know you do." Buffy made her way over to where Spike was standing, leaning up slightly to kiss his cheek before pulling away to gather all of the trash.

After taking the trash downstairs to put in the kitchen, Buffy came back to their bedroom, along with snacks for the two of them. Setting the Yoo-Hoo down on the nightstand on her side of the bed, she noticed that Spike had somehow snuck a candelabra into the room.

"Will, why do we need a candelabra? When are we ever gonna use this?" Buffy laughed when she picked it up, holding it towards him.

"I know, but it was black and the candles are red. It just looked like it would fit in the room."

The way he smiled, proud of his decorating skills, made Buffy place it back on the nightstand. She couldn't deny him anything. She looked to his nightstand and saw a second candelabra and laughed to herself, _"At least he bought matching ones." _

"Where did they come from?"

"I put them in the cart while you weren't looking." Spike smirked, defining his cheekbones even more than they usually are.

"Spike! That's why we went so over our budget?!"

"Could be. But, it could also be all of the extra pillows I bought but just haven't brought upstairs yet."

"William!" Buffy tried her best to throw an angry glare his way but miserably failed when he winked at her.

"What? I thought you'd want the extra comfort!" Spike curled his tongue behind his teeth, waiting for her to respond.

Giggling, Buffy wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest, "I love you so much."

Returning the hug, Spike kissed the top of her head, "Love you, pet. It's late, let's get to bed, yeah?"

Without letting go of his waist, Buffy nodded.

"You have to let go of me, Buffy," Spike laughed as he tried to pry her arms from him.

Burying her face in his chest, Buffy mumbled, "No."

Still laughing, Spike began to tickle her, knowing she would run.

"Spike, no!" Buffy let go of him and ran into the bathroom.

Chuckling that his plan had worked, he stripped down to his boxers, something he never thought he would own let alone wear, getting ready for bed. When Buffy emerged from the bathroom, she was wearing her usual tank top and boy shorts. How Spike had still controlled himself every night was beyond him.

"Are you ready to sleep on our new, satin sheets?" Spike asked, with a wink, "Now when I tickle you, you'll slide everywhere."

Giving a death glare, Buffy slowly got into bed, watching to make sure he didn't tickle her. When he laid next to her and put his arm around her, she flinched at first, afraid it was a trick.

"I'm just holding you, pet. Nothing to be afraid of, is there?"

"You're gonna tickle me. I know it." Buffy's response was low, a childlike voice.

"You're right!" Spike attacked her body with his fingers, making her laugh, squirm, and gasp for air.

"William!"

Laughing to himself, Spike finally stopped, allowing her to compose herself. He was about to lean down and kiss her when he noticed her tank top had been pulled down in the struggle, exposing her left nipple.

"What?" Buffy asked before looking down and noticing she wasn't fully covered.

As she was pulling her tank top back up, Spike's hand stopped her, "Don't."

"William?" Buffy whispered, wondering if it was finally time.

Looking down at her, Spike's index finger barely brushed against her nipple, feeling it harden immediately and making Buffy's breath hitch as he gently pinched it between his finger and thumb, before leaning down to kiss it. After a few tender, closed mouth kisses, Spike looked up at Buffy, watching her chest heave with the way her breathing had sped up, kissing her lips with passion, Spike gently brought her up off the bed long enough to peel her top off and toss it behind his head before laying her back down and covering her body with his.

* * *

Thanks again for the reviews!


	19. Chapter 19

"Spike, are you sure?" Buffy didn't want him to do anything he'd regret.

Looking down at her, Spike knew everything was exactly as it was meant to be. He was alive, he was engaged to the girl of his dreams, he was happy. There was nothing he wanted more at that moment than to make love his girl.

"I've never been more sure of anything, pet. I love you." Kissing her lips, softly, Spike lifted his head once more, stroking her cheek while looking in her eyes. "Let me make love to you, Buffy."

Blushing slightly, Buffy smiled shyly up at him, "How can I say no to that?"

Spike smiled before crushing his lips to hers again, letting his hands roam down her torso, feeling the softness of her skin. Buffy did the same with her hands, first playing with the curls at the back of his neck before sliding them down his back and around to his stomach. She played with the elastic of his boxers, tugging playfully at them, hoping he'd rid them soon.

Spike trailed his kisses from Buffy's mouth across her cheek and down her neck, stopping to suck gently on her collar bone.

Letting a soft moan escape her lips, Buffy placed a hand on Spike's cheek, gently making him look at her, "It's been too long, William. Don't ever stop touching me."

"I'll never get tired of hearing you say my real name. And don't you worry, pet, I won't." Spike chuckled before rubbing a hand over her breast, feeling her nipple harden once more at his touch.

Buffy curled her thumbs into the waistband of Spike's boxers, pulling them down as far as she could without his help.

"Someone's a little anxious, aren't they?" Spike teased her before tossing his boxers onto the floor along with Buffy's top.

"I haven't been touched in literally ages and I'm impatient." Buffy joked.

"It couldn't have been that long. When was the last time you were, you know, with someone?"

Looking away for a few seconds, Buffy answered quietly, "I haven't been with anyone since you…"

Hearing this made Spike's heart swell. He was sure she had at least had one or two others in her life when he left for his soul. Leaning down, he placed kisses across her face, "I love you. Don't ever forget that."

Moving down her body, Spike kissed her from her neck down her chest, paying close attention to each nipple before moving down to her stomach. While kissing just under her belly button, Spike pulled her boy shorts down, adding them to the pile of clothing on the floor. He took a moment to look at her waxed bottom half. _"Bloody perfection,"_ he thought to himself.

Looking back up at her, Spike could feel his heart pounding against his chest, he was sure it was going to burst. Seeing her anticipate what he was going to do next made him grin, he knew her pleasure was in his hands, and he was determined to make this the best she'd ever had.

"Spike?" Buffy lifted her hips slightly, just enough to get his attention.

Breaking from his thoughts, Spike smiled up at her before placing soft kisses under her belly button once more, trailing them down her legs, and the insides of her thighs. Spike smiled once more to himself before placing a single, closed mouth kiss to her soft lips.

"William, you're killing me. I need you inside me." Buffy whined softly, wanting to feel him.

"In time, pet. I need to check one thing first." Spike winked at her as he slipped a finger between her lips, loving what he found, "Oh, you're dripping, love."

Buffy smiled slyly down at him, placing her hand over his, keeping it in place as she grinded against his fingers.

Spike pushed her hand away and spread her legs apart farther, leaning his head down, flicking his tongue against her clit as he slid a single finger inside her as far as he could. Adding another finger, he swirled his tongue in fast circular motions, feeling her legs tense up.

Holding his head in place, Buffy grunted as she bucked her hips up at him, needing his tongue to work faster. Sensing what she wanted, Spike lapped his tongue as hard and fast as he could knowing she was almost there.

Buffy gripped his head with both hands, bucked her hips again, and moaned as she felt herself come hard on his tongue and hand.

After her orgasm, Spike licked every drop he could, not wanting to miss out on any of her sweet juices. As he made his way back up to her, Spike couldn't help but think seeing her come down was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Kissing her neck, Spike nuzzled against her side, wrapping his arm around her waist, and whispering in her ear, "The night's only just begun, pet."

* * *

Thanks for the reviews! Sorry it took so long to update, had some family stuff going on the past few weeks! This chapter is short, but hopefully you'll still like it! ;)


	20. Chapter 20

"Spike?" Buffy ran her hand down his torso and then back up, resting her hand over his heart. "I need you."

Smiling at her choice of words, Spike carefully covered her body with his once again.

"I love you, pet. And I need you." Spike kissed Buffy gently on the lips before positioning himself at her opening.

Spike glided himself inside her, never once breaking eye contact. Once fully inside her, Spike noticed a look of pain on her face and stilled himself.

"Are you okay, love? Am I hurting you?" Spike's face showed deep concern.

Shaking her head, "No, William. It's just been a while and I need to get used to how big you are again. I'm fine now." Buffy smiled, cupping his cheek with her hand.

Being assured he was not hurting her, Spike began to thrust slowly, feeling how tight she was made him wonder how long he would last. Buffy's hips soon met his thrusts as her hands found the hair at the back of his neck. The couple, still looking deeply in one another's eyes, moaned and panted as they felt themselves reaching the peak. Soon, Spike's left hand snaked in between them and found Buffy's clit. Rubbing soft, slow circles, he watched as her mouth opened further as she moaned.

Bending her knees, Spike used her legs as leverage to help speed up his pace, pulling out them ramming himself back inside her, burying himself as deep as he could. The sound of hearing her moan, and the look of pure pleasure on her face only made Spike thrust harder.

Feeling himself about to burst, Spike sped up the attention he was giving her clit, wanting them to hit their peaks together. He felt as if his body would give out soon from the pace he was trying to keep.

"Buffy, you're so tight, baby." Spike, keeping eye contact, whispered in between pants for air.

"Spike, unngg. Harder, guuh, harder!"

Spike placed both hands on either side of her on the bed, allowing him to go as fast as his body would allow. There was something powerful about never breaking eye contact as they made love that neither could explain. It was as if it was going to make their orgasms all the more powerful.

"Unnnnggg… SPIIIIKE!" Buffy, not realizing how loud, screamed his name as she threw her head back, feeling her legs shake and her pussy spasm as shot inside her.

"Fuck fuck FUCK! BUFFY!" Spike, yelling just as loudly, collapsed on top of her, out of breath.

Petting his head, Buffy sighed, "I love you, William. I can't feel my legs now, but I love you."

"Mmm, feeling's mutual, pet." Spike mumbled, unable to lift his head up.

"Did I wear you out?" Buffy giggled, running her fingers through his now brown-root hair.

"A little." He mumbled once more, "Trying to keep up that pace probably wasn't the best idea. But I was determined to make you come just as hard as me."

"I can one hundred percent, honestly tell you that I have never experience anything on that level before. And if every time with you from now on is like that, we're gonna need oxygen tanks and sound proof wall- oh my god how loud did we scream?" Buffy asked, horrified.

"There's no way they didn't hear us, love. Especially you. I think you shattered a window or two." Spike chuckled. "I'd expect a knock on the door anytime now."

"Oh god…" Buffy groaned, pulling the sheet over them as best she could just in case.

Chuckling softly, Spike rolled himself off of her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her tightly to him. Adjusting the sheet so their private bits were covered, Buffy snuggled into him, feeling completely fulfilled.

"Get some sleep now, pet. We need our rest for wake up sex." Spike grinned, making sure they were both comfortable.

"Mmm, I don't know if we'll be rested enough." Buffy joked, closing her eyes.

As they were about to drift off, Buffy's cell phone beeped, alerting her to a text. Reaching over Spike, Buffy picked up her phone, reading the text from her sister as her face turned red.

_'Could you two please somewhat keep the sex noises down?'_


	21. Chapter 21

Spike felt the sun beaming down on his face, causing him to bolt up in surprise. He sometimes forgot he was human now and could bask in the sunlight. Buffy, who'd been watching him sleep for the past hour, smiled at him when he realized he was fine. After lying back down, he tucked some hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead.

"How long have you been awake?" Spike asked, making sure the covers were keeping her warm.

"About an hour." She responded nonchalantly.

"What have you been doing for an hour?"

"Watching you sleep." Buffy grinned at him, "You're just so cute when you're asleep. The way your mouth is open just a little and the tiniest snores."

Buffy gushed about Spike's cuteness for a few minutes, going on about the way his nostrils flared and he mumbled when he was dreaming. Spike watched her as she rambled on about him, knowing how much she loved him and how happy they finally were. After everything they'd been through, they were finally going to get their happily ever after. They would get married, raise a family, and grow old together. Something neither of them ever thought possible in their lives before.

"And of course the way your hair gets all tousled. Which, by the way, the dark brown roots with bleached blonde tips isn't going to be a good look after a while. You should think about wither re-bleaching it or going natural." Buffy ended her rambles.

Running his hand through his hair, Spike thought about how long his hair had been bleached. Sure he hadn't been able to see it for himself until he he regained a reflection, but it was his trademark.

"I don't know, pet. I was thinking of just buzzing my head; doing something different. What'd you think?"

"I think it's a good idea. I mean, if you don't like it, you can always bleach it again. Besides, I bet your natural hair is sexy."

With a smirk, Spike pulled her closer to his body, "Ya think so, do you? Well, then I want you to do it for me. 'm not paying some bloke twenty bucks to do something that simple."

"Spike, Buffy and clippers are… un-mixy things. I wouldn't trust me to do it."

"Bollocks. I trust you with my life. I know you can do anything." Spike nuzzled his face in the crook of Buffy's neck, inhaling her scent. "The lotion you use at night smells bloody fabulous, pet. You smell good enough to eat." Spike nibbled playfully on her neck.

"Mmm, Spike, we need to get up and go downstairs. We need to make Dawn breakfast." Buffy giggled, trying to break free of his hold.

"She's quite capable of making her own bowl of cereal."

Spike, refusing to let Buffy go, continued his torture on her neck, running his tongue up to her ear before taking her lobe between his teeth.

"Spike!" Buffy playfully swatted at him, "I'm serious! Besides we need to buzz your head, remember? I'll go see if Xander or Giles has clippers."

Buffy broke free from Spike's arms, jumping off the bed she left the room, and Spike to his unattended morning wood.

"I'll get you back for this, Slayer." Spike mumbled to himself as he walked into the bathroom to shower.

* * *

Stepping out of the shower, Spike wrapped a towel around his waist and walked to the sink. Beginning his mornings by shaving was taking some getting used to, he didn't like how time consuming it was. Of course it was only five minutes, but that was five minutes he could be spending with Buffy or Dawn.

Buffy knocked lightly on the bathroom door before letting herself in. Smiling at him in the mirror, she held up the clippers, "Giles had some. He showed me how to use them."

Grinning back at her, Spike finished shaving and rubbed some after shave on his face. Turning around to face Buffy, Spike took her hand and rubbed it gently against his face, "Close enough shave, love?"

Nodding, Buffy kissed his cheek before moving to plug-in the clippers as Spike used his towel to dry his hair as much as possible, baring his backside to his fiancé, knowing she had a thing for it.

"Spike, put that towel back on. Now." Buffy warned, feeling a dampness between her legs.

"Fine. Let's do this, love." Spike agreed, knowing she was not going to give into temptation easily this morning. After wrapping the towel back around his waist, he sat on the edge of the tub so Buffy could see what she was doing, "Just promise you won't scalp me," Spike joked.

Buffy smiled nervously as she flipped the clippers on, "I'll try my best?"

Running the razor across his head, they watched as his blonde locks hit the floor. After a few more strokes the task was done and Buffy turned the clippers off. She ran her hands over his head, feeling the sharpness of the barely-there dark brown hair he now had. Sitting on his lap, Buffy stared at him in silence.

Afraid he looked like a fool, Spike began to ramble, "It looks bloody stupid, doesn't it? I knew I should've just re-bleached it. I can't believe I had you do this. How long do you thing it will take to grow back?"

Spike ran his hand over his new hair before Buffy pulled his hand away.

"Spike, you look…" She kissed him hard before finishing her sentence, "so fucking sexy."


	22. Chapter 22

A month had passed since Spike had come back into Buffy's life. She made sure she told him she loved him every chance she got, as did he. Buffy felt as if her life had finally come together and had meaning again. She was patrolling again, and actually enjoyed it, she went to bed happy, and woke up every morning even happier. Still spending almost every minute together, Spike and Buffy had still never gotten tired of each other.

Dawn, after bursting in her sister's bedroom upon hearing her scream, was currently trying to keep her distance from Spike. The day before, Dawn, thinking her sister had been hurt, ran in to find her sister and Spike in a very compromising position. A position that gave her a full view of Spike, a view Dawn would never forget. The feelings Dawn had years ago for Spike had come back to her. She found herself crushing hard on the former vampire, and was trying her best to not make eye contact with him, afraid he'd see her blush.

Lying on the couch in the living room, Spike and Buffy were curled up together, limbs entwined in a spooning position, while watching the evening news. Spike's arms were wrapped tightly around Buffy, his hands were resting on her abdomen with her hands covering his, playing with his fingers. Spike nestled his face in her hair, inhaling her scent deeply, before nuzzling his nose on her neck.

Buffy giggled, "That tickles, William."

Kissing her neck softly, Spike chuckled lightly in continued his nuzzling. Buffy, tracing patterns across his hands, noticed Dawn going up stairs and called out to her.

"Dawn! You want to hang out in here with us?"

Turning around, Dawn slowly came back down the stairs, joining them in the living room. Looking at the floor, Dawn responded quietly, "It's okay. I can hang out alone."

Both Buffy and Spike had noticed Dawn's avoidance in the past day, and neither could blame her. Buffy, knowing about her former crush on Spike, sat up.

"Dawn? You can't keep avoiding us. I know what you saw yesterday was awkward for all three of us, but we have to get past that."

Spike, sitting up next to Buffy on the couch, patted the cushion next to him, "Come sit, Niblet."

Sitting down slowly, Dawn looked up at her sister and Spike, "I'm so dumb. I thought you screamed because you got hurt. Can you guys like soundproof your walls or something?"

Laughing, Spike put his arm around Dawn's shoulder and pulled her close, "We'll try to keep it down, Bit."

"You want to hang with us?" Buffy asked, "We could play a game, or watch a movie."

"Yeah, that'd be fun. We could play a game." Dawn answered, smiling.

"Like a board game? Oh, bollocks."

Dawn ran to the closet she knew Giles kept board games in. Searching through, she found Monopoly, Mouse Trap, and Trivial Pursuit. Grabbing all three, Dawn took them back to the living room. She remembered playing Mouse Trap with Buffy years ago, but wasn't sure if Spike would play such a 'chilidish' game.

"Spike, you pick the game." Dawn said, handing the three boxes to him.

Looking at them, Spike didn't know which would be more fun. On the outside, Spike was keeping up his big bad attitude, but on the inside he was excited to have a family game night like normal humans do.

"I've never played any of these. I guess this one. Seems to be popular." Spike held out Monopoly.

Clearing off the coffee table, Buffy and Dawn set up the game. With the three of them sitting on the floor around the table, Buffy suggested Dawn be the banker since it was Spike's first time playing. Next, the three picked their game pieces. The girls agreed to let Spike pick first, as he was a first timer. Seeing him pick the puppy made both girls giggle.

"Oi! I didn't know what to pick!"

Buffy, leaning over the table, kissed his cheek, "You're too cute."

Playing the game, Buffy found herself watching how Dawn and Spike interacted with each other. Spike's jealousy came into to play every time Dawn passed 'go' and collected her $200.

"This isn't sodding fair. You keep passing 'go' and I keep landing on your bloody hotels!"

"What can I say? I'm a pro." Dawn smiled at him, while flashing him all the play money in front of her.

"Isn't it past your beddy-bye time?"

Just as Dawn opened her mouth to answer, Giles entered the room.

"Buffy? May I speak with you for a moment? Alone."

Sensing there was a problem, Buffy nodded and followed Giles into the foyer.

"What's wrong, Giles? Is someone in trouble?"

"I'm afraid we have a problem… I just received a phone call from Wesley. He informed me that Angel was spotted in Los Angeles by Wolfram and Hart employees two days ago and again yesterday."

The color drained from Buffy's face, "That's not possible."

But it was possible. After all, Angel had come back before, as had Spike.

"Buffy, it wouldn't be the first time something like this happened. I'm afraid we need to prepare ourselves for the possibility it's true. I'll let you get back to Dawn and Spike now. I just wanted to tell you in private so you could chose how you tell Dawn. I'm going to tell Xander and Willow when they arrive home tonight. Everyone needs to be on alert."

"Thank you, Giles. Let me know any news you hear."

Re-joining her loved ones in the living room, Buffy sat on the couch behind Spike.

Noticing the paleness in her face, Spike rested his chin on her leg, "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Angel."

"What about him, pet?" Spike sat up upon hearing his name. Cupping her face with both of his hands.

"He was spotted in LA."

Confused, Dawn joined her sister on the couch, "But he was dusted. You can't come back from that… Can you?"

Spike looked over at Dawn, "I was burnt to a crisp and I came back, Bit."


	23. Chapter 23

Deciding it was best to put the game away and continue later, Dawn cleaned up the living room while Spike led Buffy upstairs to their room. Buffy sat back on the bed, resting against what seemed like 12 pillows Spike had bought for her comfort. She usually made a comment when making and unmaking the bed about them really being for his comfort, but tonight she was quiet. Spike couldn't stand to see her upset in any form and quickly sat next to her, pulling her to him.

"Pet, even if he is back, everything will be ok. He'll either leave us all alone, or I'll kill him." Spike pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I know, it's just... what if he just keeps coming back? I can't spend the rest of my life worrying about when he'll show up and try to hurt my family."

Buffy wrapped her arms tightly around Spike's torso, seeking comfort. Spike, in return, held her tighter with one arm while using the other to softly stroke her hair.

"Shhh, pet. Just get some sleep. We'll talk to the watcher in the morning and get this all straightened out. I'll make sure nothing happens to you or the bit."

Mumbling against his chest, Buffy knew he could understand her, "I'm more worried about you then me and Dawn."

Spike didn't respond, he just continued to hold her and stroke her hair, providing comfort to her until she finally drifted off to sleep.

Once certain Buffy was asleep, Spike gently released himself from her hold on him and made his way to the kitchen, knowing Giles would be there researching what he could.

* * *

"Find anything, Watcher?"

Looking up from the laptop, Giles removed his glasses, "No, Spike. I don't know how Willow insists on using this thing for research. If my books hadn't been destroyed, I feel I'd be quite further along. How is Buffy?"

Drinking from the milk carton, Spike noticed Giles eye him for is lack of manners, "She's finally asleep. She's worried about me instead of herself and the lot of you."

Spike met Giles' eyes before continuing, "Giles, I'm starting to think she may… Have you noticed that we're never apart? I mean aside from a few minutes here or there."

Nodding understandingly, Giles let out a loud sigh, "Are you saying you think Buffy has an attachment issue?"

Rubbing his eyes, Spike nodded, "Don't get me wrong, I don't want to ever be apart from her. I've never been so happy in my entire existence. But, I'm worried about her. I'm worried she's become so attached that if something were to happen to me…"

"Spike, I hope you know that I am truly glad you're back. I've never seen Buffy so happy either, but I know what you are saying. I myself have noticed there could be an issue with her dependence on you. I know to a certain extent it is to be expected after all you were dead. I don't know how much she has told you about while you were gone, but she did not grieve well. I'm afraid if something were to happen to you again… She wouldn't be able to handle it."

The two sat in silence for what seemed like an hour, understanding they had the same worries about Buffy's mental health.

"What if Angel is back? Do you think it's possible?" Spike asked, clearing away the milk carton and candy wrappers that had piled up on the counter.

"Spike, I can honestly tell you that seeing you now after knowing you years ago, anything is possible." Smiling, Giles continued, "I have never seen anything as remarkable as the way you changed to be the man you are. To be the man worthy of Buffy's love and trust."

Spike, stunned, began to speak when the tow heard the woman in question scream out for Spike.

Running up the stairs, both men reached the bedroom as she was running out to find the man missing from her bed.

Catching her in his arms, Spike tried his best to calm her down, "Buffy, love, 'm right here. I was just downstairs."

Wrapping her arms around him, Buffy closed her eyes, "When I woke up and you were gone, I thought you… Don't scare me like that, Spike."

Turning to look at Giles, the look on Spike's face screamed out, "_help me_."

"Well, now that everything is okay, Spike why don't you take Buffy back to bed and we'll all talk in the morning?"

Understanding that Giles meant he would talk to her about her attachment in the morning, Spike nodded and did as he was told.

Closing the door behind him, Spike led Buffy back to bed. After pulling the covers back, he undressed her until she was just wearing her tank top and panties. Walking around to his side of the bed, he stripped down to his boxers and they both got in. After making sure he wasn't hogging the covers, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him. Kissing her tenderly, almost unlike any kiss they had ever shared, Spike told her how much he loved her and softly sang to her until she drifted off.


	24. Chapter 24

The next morning, Buffy woke with the sun, and watched Spike sleep. She pulled herself away from him just enough to comfortably look up at his face. Reaching out, she softly ran a finger over his lips, then across his right cheek, tracing the sharp line of his cheekbone, before resting her hand on his cheek. Buffy found herself memorizing every inch of his face while he slept. Every line, crease, wrinkle, and freckle he had. She smiled to herself when he began to stir in his sleep, letting out a soft moan. Their eyes met when Spike opened his.

Exchanging soft smiles, Spike leaned down to kiss Buffy on the forehead. "What are you doing, love?"

Blushing slightly, Buffy answered in a voice just slightly over a whisper, "Watching you sleep."

Pulling her body into his, Spike wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tight. Buffy buried her face in his chest, as Spike buried his face in her hair, inhaling deeply.

"Not gonna lie, pet. 's kinda creepy knowin' you watch me while 'm asleep," laughed Spike.

Mumbling against his chest, Buffy giggled as she spoke, "I love watching you sleep. You just look so peaceful."

Pulling back to look at his face, Buffy cupped his cheek again, rubbing her thumb across his cheekbone just under his eye, "You're so beautiful, William."

Turning his head to kiss her palm, Spike shook his head slightly, "No, pet. You're the beautiful one. Bloody breathtaking, you are."

"Don't argue, mister," Buffy smiled shyly at him and reached up to kiss his lips.

Spike intensified the kiss by pulling her closer, holding her head in place. When they pulled apart to take a much needed break to breath, Spike slowly pushed Buffy onto her back, covering her body with his. Capturing her bottom lip between his teeth, Spike grinned when he heard Buffy release a soft groan.

Buffy wrapped her arms around his body, running soft patterns over his bare back. Spike covered her face in kisses before trailing them down her neck. Focusing on sucking on her pulse point, Buffy could feel him harden against her. The way he was focused on her neck made Buffy wonder if, even though he was human, he craved blood. She knew he could still vamp out when needed, and that he still had his strength.

"Spike?"

Spike stopped the attack of his lips on her neck to look at her, "Pet?"

Buffy reached up to trace the scar on his eyebrow, "I know that you still have your strength, and that you can still get with the lumpies. But, do you still crave blood?"

With a deep sigh, Spike rolled off Buffy and sat up in bed, "Pet, 'm human now."

"I know, but with the way you can still vamp out and all. I just thought maybe sometimes you would want blood…"

Spike saw something in the way she looked at him, "Buffy," Spike pulled her up to sit next to him, "where are you going with this?"

Looking down, Buffy avoided eye contact with him, "Nowhere. I was just curious."

"No you weren't. You wanted to know if I wanted to bite you. You want me to bite you."

Spike tried to keep himself from getting irritated, but couldn't help himself. He wanted to wait until later in the day to have this conversation with her, until Giles was there, but he found himself more worried about her than ever before.

"Spike, that's not what I meant." Buffy looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Yes it is, Buffy." Spike's voice was firm and authoritative. "I love you more than anything in this world, and I know what I'm about to say is gonna piss you off, but I'm past the point of caring because I'm worried about you."

Buffy looked at him, afraid of what he was about to say, "Spike, William, please don't do this. Don't leave. Don't leave me."

Sighing, "Oh pet, I could never leave you." Spike held her when he sensed she was going to cry, "But, Buffy, we need to talk. I'm worried about you. We haven't been apart more than a few minutes since I came back. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but I'm afraid you're becoming so attached to me that if anything were to happen to me…"

"Don't! Nothing is going to happen to you. Ever."

"That's just it pet, you don't know that. Giles and I were talking last night and-"

"You talked to Giles about us?"

"Buffy, we're worried about you. And last night, the way you reacted when you woke up without me… We're worried that if something were to happen to me, that you wouldn't be able to handle it."

Spike wrapped his arm around Buffy's shoulders, attempting to pull her closer to him, but Buffy shrugged him off, distancing herself from him.

"You think I'm crazy?" Buffy moved to the edge of the bed, staring at the floor.

"No, 'f course not."

Spike walked around to Buffy's side of the bed, kneeling in front of her, "Buffy, look at me."

"Spike, I'm not crazy. I'm sorry if I've been clingy-girl. But, you have to see things from my perspective." Spike nodded, allowing her to continue, "The man I was in love with didn't believe that I was in love with him then, he died, in the same moment. And it was my fault."

"Pet, it wasn't."

"Yes it was. If I wasn't trying to show that you were a better man than Angel, you wouldn't have been wearing that amulet. But, I didn't grieve well. Then, one day, the man shows up at my doorstep. How can I not be expected to be clingy?"

Dumbfounded, Spike laid his head in her lap, "I'm sorry, Buffy. I guess when you think about it that way, it all makes sense. I was just so worried."

Buffy rubbed his head, "Spike, I love you. It hasn't been that long since you came back, and I'm sorry if I seemed like I was too dependent on you. I just don't want to lose you again, I couldn't handle it."

Lifting his head to look in her eyes, Spike realized how wrong he had been. Buffy wasn't crazy or overreacting. She was simply reacting to the fact that the man she loved had come back from the dead. He knew how that felt. When Buffy returned from the dead, he spent his nights watching her window outside her house, making sure she was alright. She was just doing the same for him, only in his presence.


End file.
